IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #place #st #century #waste #resources
In
this
 day and age, wild
animals
 are facing extinction because people think that protecting them is a waste of money and effort. In my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
 view and
this
 essay below would show my opinion. We can not deny that wild
animals
 play a crucial role in our life.
First
 of all, wild
animals
 create a biological balance. They help plants grow and multiply. Without them, people would face numerous disadvantages
such
 as natural calamities, ….
For example
, some places
such
 as South Africa or Australia often suffer from drought and deforestation.
Secondly
, we can receive a huge amount of money from wild
animals
. Many destinations in the world consider money from
Add an article
a
the
show examples
lion
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and elephant tours as a major income.
Furthermore
, these profits make up a high percentage of the total income of a country.
Besides
, some nations have some rare
animals
,
hence
, they can take pride in themselves and attract many international tourists Having all the aforementioned arguments, I would conclude that wild
animals
 remain necessary in human life and we should protect them for the sake of ourselves no matter in the age we live
Submitted by duongkt on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: