IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries, it is illegal to reject applicants due to their age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Age
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 discrimination has long been a prevalent issue in the
job
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 market, with older individuals often facing challenges when seeking employment opportunities.
However
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, some countries have taken a proactive stance against
this
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 practice by implementing laws that make it illegal to reject
job
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 applicants based on their
age
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.
This
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 essay will discuss the implications of
such
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 a measure and argue that it is a positive development. A major reason why it is a positive development is that it promotes equal opportunity in the
workforce
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.
Age
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 should not be a determining factor in assessing an individual's ability to perform a
job
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. By prohibiting
age
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-based discrimination, employers are compelled to evaluate candidates based on their qualifications, skills, and
experience
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, fostering a fairer and more meritocratic hiring process.
For instance
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, in countries with
age
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 discrimination laws, senior professionals with extensive
experience
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 are given an equal chance to compete for
job
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 positions, which leads to a more diverse and skilled
workforce
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.
Moreover
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, by embracing diversity in
age
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, employers can benefit from a more productive and experienced
workforce
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. Older employees often possess valuable expertise and a wealth of knowledge accumulated over years of working. Their
experience
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 can contribute significantly to problem-solving, decision-making, and mentoring younger colleagues. Tech companies,
for example
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, that value the
experience
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 and perspective of older employees may find them instrumental in innovation and guiding younger teams through complex projects. In conclusion, making it illegal to reject
job
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 applicants based on their
age
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 is undoubtedly a positive development as it fosters equal opportunity, taps into the potential of experienced workers, and addresses economic challenges in an ageing
workforce
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.
However
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, we need to understand that the effectiveness of these laws depends on robust enforcement mechanisms and continuous efforts to challenge biases.

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task
Make one idea per paragraph and keep it simple so the reader can see the main idea fast.
task
Give one more real life example to back each idea.
coherence
Link ideas with short words like and, but, also, so to help flow.
coherence
In the end, repeat your view and add a short summary of the main points.
coherence
Watch long sentences. Short and clear is best for fluency.
thesis
Clear view from the start
structure
Good link words to move from one idea to next
content
Uses fact to show benefit of laws with old and young workers
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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