Some people say that individuals who make a lot of money are most successful. Others think that those who contribute to society like scientists and teachers are most successful. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present circumstance, some
people
claim that
individuals
who possess great wealth are most outstanding,
while
others state that
people
who create value for the community are
also
notable. In my opinion, both perspectives are reasonable to some extent. The essay will discuss 2 opinions and state the writer's viewpoint. On the one hand, the world is becoming materialistic in recent years. For one thing,
individuals
have a tendency to place money and fortune above other things. As the community concentrate only on wealth and prosperity, billionaires are considered successful
individuals
in society.
In addition
, famous
individuals
,
such
as celebrities or well-known businessmen, often appear to be generous and luxurious.
This
phenomenon creates an expectation in
people
's minds that those
people
are an ideal symbol of success.
On the other hand
, scientists and lecturers
also
play a crucial role in the current circumstances. First and foremost, teachers provide education for children, who will be the
owner
Fix the agreement mistake
owners
show examples
of the future world. Without a teacher's guidance, ordinary kids will be able to learn literacy and numeracy skills.
Consequently
, they would not have the capability to complete any tasks or assignments.
Second,
scientists are the ones who drive the innovation of humankind. Discovering and fabricating new products,
such
as new medicines, and materials can change the whole industry. To illustrate, the research and manufacturing of the COVID-19 vaccine have saved numerous residents from being infected. In conclusion, I believe that determining
people
who are successful requires a lot of consideration. It must be based on the observer's viewpoint and
also
surrounding factors.
However
, I recommend both types of
people
, regardless of success or not, should unite
together
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to support the development of mankind.
Submitted by sadohpv4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task and provides a clear opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a consistent logical structure throughout the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion.
lexical resource
Expand the range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and effectively.
grammatical range
Continue to demonstrate a wide range of grammatical structures and accurately use them to convey meaning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial prosperity
  • capitalizing
  • luxury travel
  • exclusive experiences
  • contributions to society
  • humanitarian workers
  • lasting impact
  • highly subjective
  • cultural, societal, and personal values
  • comfort and security
  • deeper personal satisfaction
  • holistic understanding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: