some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or A negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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nowadays many children have filled their

time

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smartphones

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. it can be considered a common activity in the modern world as people's lifestyle has changed in different aspects. whether

this

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hobby is positive or negative development will be discussed in

this

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essay. it is obvious that a lot of factors contribute to excessive use of a smartphone by kids.

firstly

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, the availability of new and cheap technological appliances like mobiles has been facilitated thanks to the advancement in Technologies.

secondly

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, these days many families live in small apartments and most of them have an only child.

consequently

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, their kids are deprived of playing with their siblings in the yard. it may result in spending hours on

smartphones

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in order to play or chat with their peers.

finally

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, the lack of community spirit, especially in urban areas, makes parents prevent their kids from getting to know neighbours' heirs. so, they prefer to keep them at home and provide them with more facilities

such

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as mobiles or video games to fill

this

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vacuity. spending a lot of

time

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smartphones

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is a mixed-blessing issue.

in other words

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, it has its own advantages and disadvantages simultaneously. one of the most important merits is improving different learning skills including cognitive and problem-solving abilities. it

also

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promotes the coordination between eyes, ears and hands among pupils.

on the other hand

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, spending too much

time

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on phones may bring about health problems. more precisely, it is along with a sedentary lifestyle which in turn, can cause different illnesses like obesity.

moreover

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, spreading violent behaviour is another negative point of

this

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issue because many games are played in violent atmospheres. in conclusion, it is ordinary for today's children to spend hours on

smartphones

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every day. it happens mostly because of changes in individuals' way of life. I personally believe that it has its merits and drawbacks altogether.

however

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, in my opinion, parents should set a constraint on the

time

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that their children spend on phones in order to maximize its benefits.

Submitted by m.tasan on Thu Sep 22 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

334 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is a positive or A negative development?

Your opinion

In the future, it seems more difficult to live on Earth. Some people think more money should be spent on researching another planet to live on, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some countries are struggling with increase in crime rates. some belive that having more police on the street is best way to reduce and combat ctime. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

With the rise of e-books, come the decline in paper books . Some people see this ad a good forward step while others do not. What are advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Too much emphasis is given for the education of students. More government money should be spent on free time activities for young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university , to work or to travel . Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages ?