IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Discuss a time that you made a decision based on data. How did the data influence a good or bad decision making process? Make sure to choose an example and to describe it in such a way that clearly illustrates your analytical and problem-solving abilities. Limit your response to 300 words

#time #decision #data #influence #process #abilities #limit
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One pivotal instance where I relied on
data
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 to make a significant decision was during a
network
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 optimization project in my role as a Telecommunication Engineer. We were tasked with improving the
performance
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 of a cellular
network
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 segment that was experiencing frequent congestion and suboptimal throughput. To address
this
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 challenge, I conducted a comprehensive
data
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 analysis by collecting and analyzing key
performance
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 indicators (KPIs) related to
network
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 traffic, signal strength, and user experience. I utilized specialized software tools to process large datasets and identify patterns of congestion and areas with compromised signal quality. The
data
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 revealed a concentrated area where
network
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 resources were strained during peak hours. Armed with
this
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 information, I proposed a targeted reallocation of resources and the installation of additional base stations to alleviate the congestion.
This
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data
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-driven solution aimed to optimize the
network
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's capacity and enhance user experience. Implementing the proposed changes resulted in a significant improvement in
network
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performance
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, with a noticeable reduction in dropped calls and increased
data
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 throughput. The decision to allocate resources based on
data
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 analysis not only resolved the immediate issue but
also
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 laid the groundwork for a more efficient and scalable
network
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 infrastructure.
This
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 experience underscored the importance of
data
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-driven decision-making in engineering projects. It showcased my ability to gather, interpret, and act upon
data
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 effectively, demonstrating analytical and problem-solving skills. By relying on quantitative insights, I was able to make informed decisions that positively impacted the
network
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's
performance
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 and, ultimately, the satisfaction of end-users.
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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure the logical sequence of your essay is clear and the transition between ideas is smooth. Use a wider variety of linking words and cohesive devices to enhance the connection between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Introduce the topic and conclude the essay more effectively by providing a stronger background in the beginning and summarizing key points at the end, giving the reader a clear sense of introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Increase task achievement by expanding on how the decision impacted you personally or professionally and by reflecting more critically on the decision-making process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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