Nowadays many people believe that in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

#people #spite #advances #agriculture #world #case

it is true that starvation is still a big

problem

in many parts of the world

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despite

descpite

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despite

the high-tech

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devices

dvices

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devices

used in agriculture .

this

essay will discuss the two main factors causing

this

problem

.and the

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measures

mesures

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measures

that can be taken to solve it . one of the main

factor

Change to a plural noun

factors

show examples

for

hunger

is the unequal distribution of agricultural products .in other

term

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terms

show examples

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

all

people

or areas get the same

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amount

amont

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amount

of the

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annual

anual

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annual

harvest .

this

can be either due to political issues or lack of solid

distrubutary

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distributary

system

for example

in south

sudan

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Sudan

show examples

people

go hungry

inspite

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in spite

of the

wealthness

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wealthiness

of their ground .

this

is because of of the internal conflicts and the politicals problems going on in there .the

seconed

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second

main

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reason

reaason

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reason

is lack of awareness ,in some

part

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parts

show examples

of the world

people

actually go

hungery

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hungry

because of their ignorance . one way to mitigate

this

problem

is building of a good

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delivery

delievery

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delivery

system that can reach

people

and

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especially

specialy

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specially

especially

the

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poor

poors

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poor

everywhere

for example

voluntary

Add an article

a voluntary

show examples

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

that

offer

Change the verb form

offers

show examples

a lot of help regarding

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

issues .another way is to

sperate

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separate

show examples

politics from

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

lives .wars and conflict have a

determenatal

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detrimental

consequences and it leads to poverty and

hunger

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

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definitely

deffintly

Correct your spelling

definitely

unfair for

people

to suffer from

hunger

as a consequence of other

people

Change noun form

people's

show examples

behaviour .helding

Correct the article-noun agreement

awarness programmes

an awarness programme

show examples

awarness

Correct your spelling

awareness

programmes

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specially

especially

specialy

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especially

for new mothers to teach them

Add the particle

to hoe

show examples

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how

show examples

hoe

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how

show examples

to properly feed their children is another way

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they

show examples

the

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they

show examples

can have a huge impact on

hunger

worldwide. in conclusion ,

this

essay talked about the main factor of starvations

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and offers ways to mitigate

this

problem

Submitted by osama_elneel on Thu Sep 22 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many people believe that in spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

some people think that to be successful in sports, physical strength is the most important factor. Others, however, think that it is more important to be mentally strong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Parents are the best teachers Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that the increase in international travel has a negative impact on the environment and should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people think the best way to stay fit is by joining a gym/sports club while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both views and give your opinion