IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Today’s children are living under more pressure from the society than children in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#today’s #children #pressure #society
The current competitive
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 market has resulted in a drastic increase in the amount of pressure from both schools and parents leading to enhanced stress levels
particularly
Add the comma(s)
, particularly
show examples
 among preadolescents and adolescents.
This
 has been evidenced by a recent study published by the University of Toronto concluding that over the past half a century, the number of Canadian teenagers suffering from anxiety and depression has increased by approximately 25%. The modern pace of scientific invention, innovation and discovery has contributed to a significant increase in the amount of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 required by the current generation of children to invest in learning the latest technological developments.
As a result
, the modern child is confronted by the constant challenge of updating and upgrading their skills to keep up with these incessant changes. Based on a recent survey by the Science Weekly magazine, over the past quarter century, the pace of technological development especially in the field of computer science has doubled affecting the school curriculum and increasing the pressure on students around the world.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: