Discipline is an ever- increasing problem in modern schools. Some people think that discipline should be the responsibility of teachers, while others think that this is the role of parents. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is true that
discipline
is one of the main issues in today's schools. Certain folks argue that it is teachers' responsibility to teach,
however
, others believe that it is the role of families. The impending essay will discuss both sides with a logical conclusion. There are many reasons that claim it is professors' job to educate
discipline
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
educators. To start with, most of the students in schools obey teachers
this
may contribute them to catch the behave
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
tutors. As a consequence, they will learn properly.
For example
, all educational programmes in Toronto have
10 minute
Add a hyphen
10-minute

It appears that 10 minute is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

show examples
schedule that teaches students about
significance
Add an article
the significance

The noun phrase significance seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of life in a proper way.
On the other hand
, there are some others who feel that families should teach the children of their young age about good
discipline
this
is because they spent the vast majority of time with them which has a huge effect on them showing and practising with adultescent will be beneficial.
For example
, if a father behaves well with his
child
Replace the word
childhood

The word child doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
school places will see the same character from the child. In conclusion, while it is true that
discipline
is a major problem in modern educational places.
However
, some individuals think that it is educators' main job to learn students while others say that parents should take
this
responsibility.
Submitted by suhailjallalzadah on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Checks your essay in seconds
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Check your IELTS essays
Hundreds of algorithms will assess your writing according to 4 evaluation criteria. Writing9 helps you find the weak points of your essay and make it flawless.