Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People have different views on whether

students

Use synonyms

should acquire particular knowledge in schools for chasing their careers in the future. In my opinion, I completely disagree with

this

Linking Words

comment and in the following paragraphs, I would shed light on several reasons to support my stance. On the one hand,

students

Use synonyms

going to

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

are not merely for the purpose of entering

workforce

Add an article

the workforce

show examples

First

Linking Words

and foremost, the courses which

seems

Change the verb form

seem

show examples

to have no relation to their future occupations are able to broaden their horizons.

For example

Linking Words

, by taking art

class

Fix the agreement mistake

classes

show examples

, which can improve their

aesthetic

Replace the word

aesthetics

show examples

, they might achieve the success of being an outstanding UI designer by merely learning the coding lesson.

In addition

Linking Words

, studying different lessons

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

actually

helping

Wrong verb form

helps

show examples

students

Use synonyms

to realize what kind of fields they

keen

Add a missing verb

are keen

show examples

to step in and choose

the

Correct article usage

show examples

certain job from the bottom of their hearts.

Therefore

Linking Words

, diverse choices and possibilities are offered to them as they can search

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

most desirable occupation during the whole school time.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the early choice of chasing

Use synonyms

career

Add an article

a career

show examples

in the salad days limits their selections. Even though some subjects may be beneficial to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

career

Use synonyms

success, they still lose a range of possibilities which may discover afterwards.

For instance

Linking Words

, it is common worldwide that employees gradually find out they are not suitable for the current job and struggle to change to another area due to their lacking

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

some skills which are too late to learn.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

situation can cause various levels of anxiety and have a negative impact on their own lives. In conclusion, though offering only subjects in schools is indeed an efficient way to help

students

Use synonyms

achieving

Wrong verb form

achieve

show examples

their

career

Use synonyms

, I believe widely studies along with various advantages are able to

Correct your spelling

benefit

benefitl

Correct your spelling

benefit

students

Use synonyms

not only in their

career

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

in their personal lives.

junnnhwang

Sep 23, 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

304 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports, What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?
The canker of performance-enhancing drugs in sports has become widespread and difficult to curb, threatening to destroy the beauty of modern competitions. The advancement and improvement of science have led to the development of steroids, which are difficult to identify in most labs. This essay will discuss the consequences of doping and outline measure that should be taken to combat it.
8
band
Nowadays many job seekers are finding jobs that force them to move for from their family and friends. Is it a positive or a negative trend? What can be done about it?
The trend of job seekers relocating away from their homes is becoming increasingly prevalent. This essay will examine the positive aspects of this phenomenon and suggest how companies can further support their employees during such transitions.
6.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is believed by some that the fundamental purpose of science is to improve the living quality of humans. However, I hold a completely opposite view to such an idea.
7.5
band
Some people think that animal testing for medicine and cosmetics should be banned. Others think it is necessary to guarantee human safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many people believe that using animals to test drugs and cosmetics ought to be restricted, while others believe that it is allowed to ensure the well-being of humankind. Even though I respect the first view, I completely agree with the latter notion. This essay will discuss both opinions and will also give a logical conclusion.
6
band
In some countries, owning a home is more important rather than renting one. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
Owning a home is considered more crucial than renting by many individuals in certain countries. The argument is that having one's own house is a more cost-effective option than consistently paying rent. This is viewed as a positive trend, especially considering the difficulty many, particularly millennials, face in achieving home ownership.

Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports, What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

Nowadays many job seekers are finding jobs that force them to move for from their family and friends. Is it a positive or a negative trend? What can be done about it?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that animal testing for medicine and cosmetics should be banned. Others think it is necessary to guarantee human safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home is more important rather than renting one. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?