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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Overpopulation is a big problem today in many major urban centers. What are the causes, and effects?

#overpopulation #centers #effects
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Now, many
contry
Correct your spelling
country
 have
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 in several
Use synonyms
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as Technologies, Transportation, and
Economic
Fix the agreement mistake
economics
show examples
.
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
show examples
 advancement is extremely developed in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the region
show examples
region
Replace the word
regional
show examples
area
Use synonyms
 is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 progress to development, or some
area
Use synonyms
 still does not have any continent supply to support their
job
Use synonyms
 or daily
life
Use synonyms
. For
this
Linking Words
 essay I will elaborate,
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
issue
Correct article usage
the issue
show examples
 of overpopulation in town and are these problems have any effect in
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 paragraph.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 have more advanced than
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
show examples
. According, everybody
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 convenient stuff that can support their
life
Use synonyms
for instance
Linking Words
 education,
people
Use synonyms
 think if we study in
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
, we will get the best teacher
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or instructors in college or university.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the best university
is usually place
Change the verb form
is usually placed
show examples
 in the town.
Thus
Linking Words
, for
parents
Add a comma
,parents
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 reason to move
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 to urban.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Opportunities for
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 think if we have a
job
Use synonyms
 in the big
city
Use synonyms
, they will get a good
job
Use synonyms
 and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary. But the more high salary the more competition.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they can meet up with different background
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and
experience
Correct your spelling
experienced
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to share their
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
show examples
 and they will get
connection
Add an article
a connection
the connection
show examples
 with other
people
Use synonyms
 that may help themself to promotion
ir
Correct your spelling
or
 support them in advance. For these reasons,
people
Use synonyms
 decide to move their family come to
Use synonyms
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
thrive
Change the verb form
thriving
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 achievement.
Then
Linking Words
 it becomes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big
issue
Use synonyms
 of overpopulation in the
city
Use synonyms
. I think it is a majority for a lot of countries.
Results
Correct article usage
The results
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
immigrates
Wrong verb form
immigrating
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
traffic
Add an article
a traffic
show examples
 jam,
crowded
Replace the word
crowds
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, air pollution, and noise population.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 duty to resolve
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
 to expand advancement to another
area
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, everybody wants to
achievement
Replace the word
achieve
show examples
 in their
life
Use synonyms
 and not all that want to leave their home to the best
life
Use synonyms
 in the
city
Use synonyms
 but they have to leave because of the reason that I mention above.
Therefore
Linking Words
, if you want to reduce
this
Linking Words
issue
Use synonyms
, the government should focus on
distribution
Add an article
the distribution
show examples
 of prosperity to
region
Add an article
the region
show examples
.
Submitted by wow_woo_waa on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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