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Band 4.5

Overpopulation is a big problem today in many major urban centers. What are the causes, and effects?

#overpopulation #centers #effects
Now, many
contry
Correct your spelling
country
 have
development
Replace the word
developed
show examples
 in several
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
such
 as Technologies, Transportation, and
Economic
Fix the agreement mistake
economics
show examples
.
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
show examples
 advancement is extremely developed in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
Correct article usage
the region
show examples
region
Replace the word
regional
show examples
area
 is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 progress to development, or some
area
 still does not have any continent supply to support their
job
 or daily
life
. For
this
 essay I will elaborate,
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
issue
Correct article usage
the issue
show examples
 of overpopulation in town and are these problems have any effect in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 paragraph.
Firstly
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 have more advanced than
outskirts
Correct article usage
the outskirts
show examples
. According, everybody
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 convenient stuff that can support their
life
for instance
 education,
people
 think if we study in
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
, we will get the best teacher
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or instructors in college or university.
Moreover
, the best university
is usually place
Change the verb form
is usually placed
show examples
 in the town.
Thus
, for
parents
Add a comma
,parents
show examples
this
 is
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 reason to move
family
Add an article
the family
show examples
 to urban.
Secondly
, Opportunities for
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
.
People
 think if we have a
job
 in the big
city
, they will get a good
job
 and
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary. But the more high salary the more competition.
Furthermore
, they can meet up with different background
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 and
experience
Correct your spelling
experienced
show examples
people
 to share their
achievement
Fix the agreement mistake
achievements
show examples
 and they will get
connection
Add an article
a connection
the connection
show examples
 with other
people
 that may help themself to promotion
ir
Correct your spelling
or
 support them in advance. For these reasons,
people
 decide to move their family come to
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
thrive
Change the verb form
thriving
show examples
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 achievement.
Then
 it becomes
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big
issue
 of overpopulation in the
city
. I think it is a majority for a lot of countries.
Results
Correct article usage
The results
show examples
 of
people
immigrates
Wrong verb form
immigrating
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
traffic
Add an article
a traffic
show examples
 jam,
crowded
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crowds
show examples
, air pollution, and noise population.
Therefore
, it is
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 duty to resolve
this
issue
 to expand advancement to another
area
. In conclusion, everybody wants to
achievement
Replace the word
achieve
show examples
 in their
life
 and not all that want to leave their home to the best
life
 in the
city
 but they have to leave because of the reason that I mention above.
Therefore
, if you want to reduce
this
issue
, the government should focus on
distribution
Add an article
the distribution
show examples
 of prosperity to
region
Add an article
the region
show examples
.
Submitted by wow_woo_waa on

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