For Many people, the the reason they work hard is to earn more money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In today's digital world, where every step of life has big competition, everyone wants to do hard
work
and make a decent amount of money.
According to
a large number of
people
, men
work
hard to earn more cash, I completely agree with the present statement and in the given essay, we are going to delve into
this
further
.
To begin
with,
People
endeavour themselves so that they can not only make wealth but
also
get a reward from the senior managers or the owner.
For example
, A lot of companies provide
people
with special rewards if they
work
very productive regularly.
Thus
, in order to get that reward, employees do a lot of hard
work
.
On the other hand
, there is another factor of hard
work
is that some employees are more passionate about their
work
, and they do not get satisfied until they
work
hard on their tasks.
Therefore
, they constantly endeavour to make sure the tasks which are done by them are perfect.
for instance
, a study has concluded that there is a positive link between feeling self-confidence and being successful in a task which requires working hard.
As a result
, many
people
give passionately their best in order to achieve a high level of confidence. In conclusion, many
people
work
hard
due to
Change preposition
for
show examples
several reasons. I partly agree with the view that money is an important factor in the level of working hard, and
besides
I believe that a sense of self-confidence and a passion for a job is an equally determinant factor.
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task response
Provide a more balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and strong structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • necessities
  • monetary rewards
  • quality of life
  • luxury items
  • dependents
  • responsibility
  • pursue
  • personal interests
  • cultural pressures
  • wealth accumulation
  • fulfillment
  • visible measure
  • correlate
  • secure future
  • comfortable lifestyle
  • entertainment
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