Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Other ever argue that the circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuses both on view and give your opinion

It is suggested that there should be fixed punishment for each type of crime while
others
, by and large, some different factors like motivation should be considered when criminals are being judged. Let us
first
explore the reasons for
the
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before both. Consider deleting the article.

show examples
both groups. From the
first
group standpoint, if a similar judge is performed for everyone having the same sin, an individual might leave an illegal activity which they think about it.
Although
, an ill-wisher personality is a significant reason,
however
,
others
will receive some stress when knowing about the consequence of their mistake and illegal activities,
such
as a high find for
people
who are introduced as a vandal or graffiti.
As a result
, making stress because of information affects
people
who have a light conscience.
Furthermore
, fixing punishment is leading to cause of preventing evasion of the law, taking deleting some notes which the prosecutions use to convert the
penalty
of a person who convicted criminal into innocent. On the other side, some
people
justifiably argue that the find must be different as the reason for that happening is an
important
Add an article
an important
the important

The noun phrase important factor seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
factor for the verdict. It cannot be denied that, has no
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
huge difference idea between someone who commits serial murder and another who cause the death of another in a car accident,
then
they should not receive the same
penalty
. In addition, the
second
group says in their discussions that, the fixed judge might affect the number of illegals. Take when the
penalty
Add an article
the penalty
a penalty

The noun phrase penalty seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of some fraud ID cards are made by a criminal as same as
others
who just make a passport for himself or herself as political problems cause
this
person
try
Fix the infinitive
to try

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
to make for
others
because they will have some end an example.
Then
, a person who performs illegal
thinks
Correct your spelling
things

The word thinks doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
about repeating
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
which is decreasing countries’ security. In conclusion, some arguments are done among
people
who believe that the fixing
penalty
must be performed whereas
others
disagree with it. Because motivation like other factors is effective on the consequence of finding. In my opinion, the reason for illegal is a significant factor when the judge and Jules want to decide on the
penalty
of fraud, murder, etc.
Submitted by tutoo.ir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your IELTS writing score within two weeks
Writing9 scans your text for all types of mistakes, from typos to sentence structure problems and beyond.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Improve your band scores without paying for expensive tutoring
After you write your essay, you will be provided with tips with examples of how to make your essay better in order to get a score above 7.