The charts illustrate the participants in the olympics by gender and by totals

The charts illustrate the participants in the olympics by gender and by totals
The bar chart demonstrates the information about
participants
based on
genders
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gender
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in the Olympics,
whereas
the line graph illustrates the total
amount
of Olympic
athletes
from 1924 to 2014.
Overall
, the
number
of Olympic
participants
has jumped up exponentially since the competition’s debut.
Thus
, the
number
of male
participants
has always been the majority of the
althletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
out of the two
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
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,
however
, the gap between the
amount
of male and female
participants
has been narrowed as the
number
of women participating in the Olympics has increased significantly throughout the
years
.
According to
the bar chart, the
number
of male
athletes
has risen up consistently, from 3000
participants
in 1924 to 4500 in 1954,
then
the rate slowed down, which resulted in only more than 5000
althletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
in 30 more
years
and reached its peak at approximately 6000
participants
in 2014.
On the other hand
, the
number
of female
athletes
has soared sharply from not even 200
athletes
in 1924 to almost ten times of it 60
years
later.
Then
, the
number
of female
athletes
has climbed up quickly in the
last
30
years
in reached almost 5000
participants
, only lower than the
number
of its male counterpart by roughly 1000
athletes
. In accordance
to
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with
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the line graph, the
number
of
particpants
Correct your spelling
participants
in
Correct article usage
the Olympic
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Olympic
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympics
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has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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doubled from the year 1924 to 1984, from approximately 3000 to 7000. In the
last
30
years
, the
amount
of
atheletes
Correct your spelling
athletes
has gone up substantially, almost
one half
Add a hyphen
one-half
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of its previous
amount
, from approximately 7000 in 1984 to more than 10000 in 2014.
Submitted by diemdt on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, amount, athletes, number, years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 8 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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