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Band 5

Some people think that going to the gym is one of the most important factors in achieving good health. Do you think that people can be healthy without going to the gym? What other factors contribute towards good health?

#people #gym #factors #health
Nowadays, people intend to choose
Add an article
a meal
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meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
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in
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apply
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each
day
 more than
the
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in the
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 past. And in each meal should
has
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have
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 sufficient
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
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. If it is not, they will take
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the supplement
a supplement
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supplement
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supplements
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for
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to
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 reach
nutritions
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nutrition
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in
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apply
show examples
each
day
.
Moreover
, they will buy fitness
course
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courses
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 to get
personal
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a personal
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trainer
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trainers
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 or work out by
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 equipment
in
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apply
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there. For
this
 essay, I will elaborate
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on another
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another factors
Replace the adjective
another factor
other factors
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 that support
a
Remove the article
apply
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good
health
, in the
next
 paragraph.
To begin
 with,
persons
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people
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 think going to
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
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 is the primary important factor in
achieves
Wrong verb form
achieving
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a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good
health
.
On the other hand
, it has just a part of
to be
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being
show examples
 healthy.
Besides
, organise to go to
gym
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the gym
show examples
 4 to 5 days
in
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apply
show examples
a week, you should organise your diet as well. It has
range
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a range
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 of meals that can advocate your
healthy
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health
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 plan,
for
instance
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,instance
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 ketogenic diet, low carb food, and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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IF (Intermittent fasting).
For
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In
show examples
these way
Change the determiner
this way
these ways
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, you should do
along
Correct pronoun usage
it along
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 with your
work out
Correct your spelling
workout
show examples
 routine. As result, you will get a good body shape and
Correct your spelling
lose
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loose
Correct your spelling
lose
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 weight in a proper way.
Moreover
,
in
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apply
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each
day
, or each week, you
also
 plan your meals. What you have to have in the morning,
noon
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at noon
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, and
dinner
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at dinner
show examples
. It is better if you
calcurate
Correct your spelling
calculate
 calories for each
day
 to control it.
Furthermore
, dietary foods are important as well. If you cannot reach
range
Add an article
a range
the range
show examples
 of nutrition for a
day
, you will not get a good result.
Thus
, you should take
Add an article
a supplement
the supplement
show examples
supplement
Fix the agreement mistake
supplements
show examples
 to support your
health
 and ensure that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will not
over
Correct your spelling
overrate
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rate
Add an article
the rate
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the body
needed
Wrong verb form
needs
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.
Then
 it will become
disadvatage
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
instead
. To summarise, the most
Correct your spelling
significant
sigfinicant
Correct your spelling
significant
 of being healthy should come with plenty of factors
such
 as daily work out, planning each meal by
calcurate
Correct your spelling
calculate
 and control
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
show examples
 properly, and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 some
supplement
Fix the agreement mistake
supplements
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for
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to
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contribute
Change the verb form
contributing
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your
Change preposition
to your
show examples
health
.
In addition
, you should
strict
Add a missing verb
be strict
show examples
 with your eating plan if you are not, the result will not occur.
Also
, remember it takes time to
Replace the word
lose
show examples
loose
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
 weight, do not rush and pressure yourself.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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