IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Food travels thousands of miles from farm to consumers. Some people believe we should buy food from the local farmer to protect the environment and support local businesses. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#food #thousands #miles #farm #consumers #people #farmer #environment #support #businesses #outweigh
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Music
Use synonyms
 is a great context for getting together various types of
humans
Use synonyms
 naturally.
Humans
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different ages, cultures, and gender are able to come together in order to
listen
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tolisten
show examples
music
Use synonyms
.I
agree
Add the preposition
onagree
toagree
withagree
show examples
this
Linking Words
 idea strongly...Two basic factors push me to think like
this
Linking Words
.One of them is international
music
Use synonyms
festivals
Use synonyms
.At the time of international
festivals
Use synonyms
 all around the world,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large number of people are collected
one
Change preposition
in one
show examples
 centre.
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
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 even though
humans
Use synonyms
 do not share the same place, with
music
Use synonyms
 they can share similar feelings and thoughts. Each year , especially developed countries are organized international
music
Use synonyms
festivals
Use synonyms
.Thank
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
these
festivals
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,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 those
loving
Replace the word
love
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 are eager to attend these
festivals
Use synonyms
. Each festival has
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 topic and concept
such
Linking Words
 as love, and peace in order to attract potential joiners.Those attending
Correct article usage
the festival
show examples
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
 not only
listen
Add the preposition
tolisten
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 at the same time, they consider over festival topic and concept.
For example
Linking Words
, in my
village
Add a comma
,village
show examples
 the natives are organized
music
Use synonyms
festival
Fix the agreement mistake
festivals
show examples
 for supporting the
village
Change noun form
village's
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 peaceful atmosphere. And some investigations are done by scientists over
this
Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
 festival.Survey shows us, with the commence of
this
Linking Words
 festival, the rate of tourists are on the
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
.So, it is fact that
music
Use synonyms
festivals
Use synonyms
 help us to
collecting
Change the verb form
collect
show examples
 people
around
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the same direction. Nowadays, especially teenagers are addicted to
tolisten
Correct your spelling
to listen
music
Use synonyms
 on
an online platforms
Correct the article-noun agreement
online platforms
an online platform
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such
Linking Words
 as youtube, Spotify, Vimeo... These platforms are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
great ways to express
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 arts, and talents. In the old times, only a limited number of selection
humans
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 had to offer their skills.But today
fortunately
Add the comma(s)
,fortunately
show examples
, via these tools
humans
Use synonyms
 express their feelings and ideas
throughout
Change preposition
through
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
Use synonyms
. Even producers can take feedback from listeners from
comment
Add an article
the comment
show examples
 section.It is
amazing
Add an article
an amazing
show examples
 opportunity to
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
 among listeners and producers. As time roll on, some
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
producers may transform
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popular people and it
Correct your spelling
results
inresults
Correct your spelling
results
in results
enthusiasm
Correct article usage
the enthusiasm
show examples
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 listeners. Those listening same person , Ecole or group create
fun
Add an article
a fun
show examples
 club on social media. By fun club,
Add an article
a
show examples
strong connection is created among to attender.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is clear that
music
Use synonyms
 has a powerful instrument to connect
humans
Use synonyms
 to each other.
Festivals
Use synonyms
 and social media, both of them play
a significant roles
Correct the article-noun agreement
a significant role
significant roles
show examples
 to get
humans
Use synonyms
 together...
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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