Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones . Why is this case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In
this
contemporary epoch, whilst proponents are using
phones
as a primary means of education, opponents do not agree with that.
However
, I am of the belief that
smartphones
have essential uses. My contention will be
further
explained.
To begin
with, I am convinced that there are many reasons for using
phones
, some are useful and others are without advantages.
In other words
, since technology has become relied upon on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis, there is no control over it from the parents. A prime example of
this
is teenagers who are spending hours on diverse applications like Facebook and Twitter
instead
of using them to learn new things.
Thus
, using
smartphones
is a double-edged sword, so it is necessary to make sure it is used correctly, as it has great importance in our time.
Furthermore
,
in addition
to the fact that schools have depended on technology
while
teaching in the classroom,
smartphones
have needed use nowadays.
This
means that if students use mobile
phones
in a positive way, they will reach great development.
For example
, schools have developed the education system by adding an app to use during sessions for answering questions and uploading homework.
Hence
, what can be said is that children should care about the helpful uses of
smartphones
and not waste their time on useless activities. In conclusion, after the essay has manifested the above-mentioned points, it can be reiterated that the development of technology has become in every part of our life.
Therefore
, it is believed that
phones
have a positive influence on children's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by amer.ebtsam on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by presenting a clear and organized progression of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is not clearly presented. Start with a clear introduction that presents your stance on the issue and outlines the main points to be discussed. Similarly, ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position.
task achievement
You have provided a somewhat complete response to the task. Make sure to fully address all aspects of the prompt and provide a clear stance on the issue. Additionally, use more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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