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Band 4

Write a 4-paragraph essay of about 200-250 words on the following topic: Many young people spend a lot of time on the Internet without any parental supervision or control. What are some of the problems caused by unrestricted use of the Internet and what can be done to curb these problems?

#topic #people #time #internet #supervision #control
Today the
internet
 plays a very important role in life.
However
, some young people spend too much time on the
internet
. It causes a lot of adverse effects. One of the main problems of using the
internet
 too long is social. It will greatly affect social relationships
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and take dangerous actions.
For example
: Some
children
 will lose the ability to communicate because they don't talk to people, Some
children
 playing violent games online without parental supervision will lead to dangerous actions
such
 as fighting, stealing… Another problem is that it is very harmful to health. Sitting in one place for too long will affect the bones, causing bone or eye diseases. In terms of solutions,
Children
 affected by the
internet
 need adult support. Parents should spend more time with them, listen
and
Change preposition
to and
show examples
 solve their problems,
Schedule
Correct word choice
and Schedule
show examples
 and control
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 child's screen time. encourage your
children
 to participate in outdoor activities, participate in sports activities with friends and relatives. In short, Using the
Internet
 for too long brings a lot of risks. Parents should supervise their
children
 and help them participate in social activities.
Submitted by minhnguyenvic on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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