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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefit the students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #university #students #cost #studies #education #benefit #society
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Get It has been a highly charged issue that
university
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students
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 bear the whole cost of studies because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
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 can expect the least benefits from the
people
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 of
university
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 education.
However
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, I oppose the idea that
university
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students
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 ᅟare responsible for their tuition.
First
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 of all, many advanced countries adopted a system
which
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in which
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 the government lend money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
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students
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’ tuition to the
students
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 at
very
Add an article
the very
a very
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low interest
Add a hyphen
low-interest
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 rate.
Additionally
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, the government
also
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 do not require the
students
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pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
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 back the money as soon as they graduated. If the
students
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 cannot get a job, the government postpone the obligation to pay back the money until they are able to have a stable income. These are very obvious actions for
the
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apply
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society
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 to share the burden to study in
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university
Add an article
a university
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 with the
students
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.
Thus
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, any
society
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 which is reluctant to help
the
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apply
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university
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students
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 financially need to learn the advanced societies’ policies to subsidize the
university
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students
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 for their tuition.
Secondly
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, there is
a
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apply
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very evident proof that highly educated
people
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 have tremendously contributed to improving the whole
society
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 in many aspects. More specifically, most social or scientific innovations have come from the
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people’s ideas
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people
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 who have studied in
university
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.
For example
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, Google, Apple and Microsoft are very actively seeking
people
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 who have studied in
university
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 and these companies have
also
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 paid a huge amount of tax annually to the country, which can benefit the public in the country.
Thus
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, nobody
cannot
Rewrite the sentence
can
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 deny the fact that
a
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apply
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society
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 is receiving many benefits from the
people
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 who have studied
in
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at
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university
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.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, the request to help
university
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students
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 financially should be seriously considered. In conclusion, the two obvious reasons which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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many advanced countries are providing many ways to lessen the financial burden of studying in
university
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 and
university
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 education is actually conducive to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 our
society
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 better
are strongly support
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strongly supports
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 that
a
Remove the article
apply
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society
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need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to share the cost of
university
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 education and encourage more
people
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 to have a chance to study in
university
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.
Submitted by Sasha on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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