IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that university students should pay all the cost of studies because university education only benefit the students themselves not the society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #university #students #cost #studies #education #benefit #society
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Get It has been a highly charged issue that
university
students
 bear the whole cost of studies because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
 can expect the least benefits from the
people
 of
university
 education.
However
, I oppose the idea that
university
students
 ᅟare responsible for their tuition.
First
 of all, many advanced countries adopted a system
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 the government lend money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
students
’ tuition to the
students
 at
very
Add an article
the very
a very
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low interest
Add a hyphen
low-interest
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 rate.
Additionally
, the government
also
 do not require the
students
pay
Fix the infinitive
to pay
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 back the money as soon as they graduated. If the
students
 cannot get a job, the government postpone the obligation to pay back the money until they are able to have a stable income. These are very obvious actions for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society
 to share the burden to study in
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 with the
students
.
Thus
, any
society
 which is reluctant to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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university
students
 financially need to learn the advanced societies’ policies to subsidize the
university
students
 for their tuition.
Secondly
, there is
a
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apply
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very evident proof that highly educated
people
 have tremendously contributed to improving the whole
society
 in many aspects. More specifically, most social or scientific innovations have come from the
people’s ideas
Change noun form
people
show examples
 who have studied in
university
.
For example
, Google, Apple and Microsoft are very actively seeking
people
 who have studied in
university
 and these companies have
also
 paid a huge amount of tax annually to the country, which can benefit the public in the country.
Thus
, nobody
cannot
Rewrite the sentence
can
show examples
 deny the fact that
a
Correct article usage
apply
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society
 is receiving many benefits from the
people
 who have studied
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
.
Accordingly
, the request to help
university
students
 financially should be seriously considered. In conclusion, the two obvious reasons which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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many advanced countries are providing many ways to lessen the financial burden of studying in
university
 and
university
 education is actually conducive to
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 our
society
 better
are strongly support
Change the verb form
strongly supports
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 that
a
Remove the article
apply
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society
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to share the cost of
university
 education and encourage more
people
 to have a chance to study in
university
.
Submitted by Sasha on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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