IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

international travel often leads to have some prejudices rather than broad minds

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International tourism enriches the experiences of individuals while travelling to their dream countries ,especially, about the diversity in culture , food and lifestyle of locals .
However
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, some sightseers feel prejudiced, conflicted or misunderstood
instead
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 of receptive and indulgent. The main causes are local customs and religious beliefs , which to some extent ,contribute to bias and even hostility.
For instance
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,covering the head and removing shoes before entering a religious venue is of utmost importance in India , if not ,shows disrespectful behaviour and no value for local beliefs to tourists from other nations . And vice-versa, a traveller hailing from a reserved background
,
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 may be horrified to see women's freedom in western culture. To mitigate cultural shock , adequate research prior to the trip can resolve
this
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 issue or if there is a tour guide or organizer, they must take it upon themselves to educate the visitors about the local values and culture in a way that they understand the empathise rather than look down upon it. Another significant cause of prejudice among tourists is electronic media as they portray certain countries , people and sites which is why Travellers have preconceived negative opinions about these places when they visit.
For example
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 , regular advertisements of donations for Africa show that it is the poorest country ,but in reality, Africa is the richest nation due to the abundance of natural resources , beautiful sceneries to enjoy , and above locals are always given warm welcome to the tourists .Surprisingly ,awareness is the only cure to breaking the stereotypes and encouraging interaction with locals so that the differences between reality and media presentation can come to the surface. In conclusion, international tourism does have its problems which can lead to prejudiced views.
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, only efforts in the right direction can overcome them as a memorable travel experience favours the prepared minds

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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