IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Unemployment is a growing problem all over the world. What are the causes of this? What could be done to help tackle this issue? To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#unemployment #world
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Getting no
job
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 is a growing problem all over the world.As far as my opinion is concerned, I fully agree with the statement because it is one of the major problems of the world.
To begin
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 with,
people
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 who have done hard
work
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 in studies to get a good
job
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although
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 they don'
t
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 get a
job
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 because there is no merit at all for getting a
job
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.
People
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 who have their parents or relatives at higher posts their children get a
job
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 because their parents or relatives give orders to that
government
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 officer.
For example
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: In Pakistan youngsters who
work
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 hard for getting a good
job
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instead
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 of those
people
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 who have their parents or relatives at a higher rank give orders and their kids get a
job
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. That's not fair to the students and
then
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 if they don'
t
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 get a
job
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 they fall into depression and anxiety because they have done very hard
work
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 in studies and getting graduation they don'
t
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 get a
job
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.
On the other hand
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, there are many solutions to
this
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 problem but the main solution is that there should be merit to getting a
job
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 and the
government
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 should make a law where they order
people
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 who are in higher posts do not involve in
this
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 because of them youngsters who done hard
work
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 don'
t
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 get justice after
this
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 law there will be justice and there will be merit on every
government
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job
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. To conclude my essay I must say that,there should be justice and there should not be cheating in jobs and the
government
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 should see that case
Submitted by mj608538 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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