IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Unemployment is a growing problem all over the world. What are the causes of this? What could be done to help tackle this issue? To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#unemployment #world
Getting no
job
 is a growing problem all over the world.As far as my opinion is concerned, I fully agree with the statement because it is one of the major problems of the world.
To begin
 with,
people
 who have done hard
work
 in studies to get a good
job
although
 they don'
t
 get a
job
 because there is no merit at all for getting a
job
.
People
 who have their parents or relatives at higher posts their children get a
job
 because their parents or relatives give orders to that
government
 officer.
For example
: In Pakistan youngsters who
work
 hard for getting a good
job
instead
 of those
people
 who have their parents or relatives at a higher rank give orders and their kids get a
job
. That's not fair to the students and
then
 if they don'
t
 get a
job
 they fall into depression and anxiety because they have done very hard
work
 in studies and getting graduation they don'
t
 get a
job
.
On the other hand
, there are many solutions to
this
 problem but the main solution is that there should be merit to getting a
job
 and the
government
 should make a law where they order
people
 who are in higher posts do not involve in
this
 because of them youngsters who done hard
work
 don'
t
 get justice after
this
 law there will be justice and there will be merit on every
government
job
. To conclude my essay I must say that,there should be justice and there should not be cheating in jobs and the
government
 should see that case
Submitted by mj608538 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: