IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some consumers are increasingly choosing to buy goods that are produced in their local area, rather than imported goods. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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With the changing trends, it is often noticed that some shoppers are increasingly preferring to purchase locally produced
goods
Use synonyms
 over imported ones. From my perspective, it is a positive development as these would lead to an increase in local employment and would be environmentally friendly.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the imported products are sometimes of lower quality and are often not fresh.
This
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 is because many internationally sourced
goods
Use synonyms
, like fruits and vegetables, are generally frozen and not fresh to maintain their lifespan. On the one hand, foreign
goods
Use synonyms
 are less costly
due to
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 mass production, but
on the other hand
Linking Words
, locally manufactured items are of better quality.
For instance
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, recent studies have shown that many foreign companies produce a wide variety of
goods
Use synonyms
 using cheaper pesticides and low-cost production methods in order to grow crops more quickly and reduce expenses.
As a result
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, consumers now prefer buying domestically produced
goods
Use synonyms
 over imported ones.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 more adaptability to the locally sourced
goods
Use synonyms
, it has led to a surge in local employment. The skilled artisans from the rural areas are getting a new identity and recognition.
Moreover
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, it would contribute to the decrease of carbon footprint as the items are locally manufactured and do not need to be shipped, which leads to less consumption of fuel.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 would
also
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 help small businesses to grow and support their national economy. In conclusion, the growing trend for home-grown products is mainly
due to
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 the increase in local jobs and environmental conditions and the desire to support the local economy. I believe that
this
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 is a positive trend as it is benefiting the locals and the environment.

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task response
Answer both parts more directly. You explain the reasons well, but your view on why this trend is positive can be stronger in each body part.
task response
Use more clear and real examples. The study about foreign companies is useful, but it is a bit general and not fully explained.
task response
Develop each main idea a little more. Some points are good, but they need one more sentence to show how or why.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, middle, and end. This helps the reader follow your ideas easily.
coherence and cohesion
Linking is mostly good, but some phrases are not natural, such as 'due to more adaptability to the locally sourced goods'. Use simpler linking words and clearer sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are too long or mixed. Break them into shorter parts so each idea is easier to follow.
task response
You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and keep the same view to the end.
task response
You cover both the reasons and whether the trend is positive or negative, so the essay answers the full question.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs, and each paragraph has one main idea.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion is clear and matches the ideas in the essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • local economy
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable consumption
  • supporting local businesses
  • community development
  • cultural heritage
  • self-sufficiency
  • environmental sustainability
  • imported goods
  • fresh produce
  • consumer preference
  • local producers
  • organic products
  • economic impact
  • carbon emissions
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