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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that young people learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others say that young people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #skills #computer #games #time
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Many young people these days enjoy playing computer games in their spare
time
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. It is considered to be a fun hobby. I would argue
however
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 that there are a number of serious issues regarding digital sports, and that we ought to be very cautious about allowing children to become absorbed in
this
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 world.
This
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 essay outlines some of the key issues about online gaming, and why it is so dangerous.
Firstly
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, online gaming is quite harmful to physical health. It is proven that excessive screen
time
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 and sedentary hobbies, especially online gaming, lead to a raft of health issues. Young people who game tend to neglect exercise, so are much more likely to become unfit and obese. Whatsmore they can get very poor eyesight from the excessive screentime, and get very sore back and bad posture from slumping by the computer.
Secondly
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, gaming has a lot of negative effects on mental health. Being online all the
time
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 means students neglect real-life social skills, and are much more likely to be lonely and depressed. Whatsmore, gaming is designed to be highly addictive, and
as a result
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, they stay up all night
,
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apply
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 and become too exhausted to study or focus in school. These effects carry on into adulthood
,
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 and affect a person's ability to go to work or have healthy relationships.
For example
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, I had many friends who used to spend 20 to 30 hours per week playing World of Warcraft, and they were suffering from depression, and anxiety and were overall quite miserable. So, in conclusion, I think it is best to limit screen
time
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 and gaming for young children and encourage real-life play and physical activity. While gaming might be fun in moderation, I argue that it is wise for teachers and parents to help young people form better habits for a healthier future.
Submitted by Oakes_amy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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