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Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people believe that children commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #children #crimes #parents
Some would argue that
children
 should be sentenced if they break
law
Add an article
the law
show examples
, while others say that
parents
 should be penalized
instead
. In my opinion, I believe that even though
children
 are the future and hope of our world the government should punish them to reduce committing serious crimes and
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
safer
Add an article
a safer
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 society. On the one hand, it is undeniable fact that
children
 are not enough mature to clarify their activities before carry out and they are under
control
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the control
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 of
parents
 so
family
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the family
show examples
 must
also
 take
responsibilities
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibility
show examples
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
's crimes.
For instance
, when young people commit any crime
first
 of all the reasons are determined and the research illustrates that there is a huge gap
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their nurture, education and
negilgence
Correct your spelling
negligence
 of
parents
. So there should be
law
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a law
the law
show examples
 that
parents
 are responsible
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 not obeying the law of
children
.
Submitted by siraj.hv on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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