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Band 4.5

Many people believe that in order to have clean and tidy streets in their neighbourhood, this should be the residents's responsibility; while others think, it shoud be the government's duty. What is your opinion?

#people #streets #neighbourhood #residents #responsibility #shoud #government #duty
Nowadays, the
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population in
closed
Correct article usage
a closed
show examples
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
 including small neighbourhoods and towns increasing day after day,
accordingly
 social duties vary and change including the clean environment. While some people argue that it's the residents' responsibility for each neighbourhood, others claim
this
 should be led by the government as part of its responsibility, I believe that in most cases clean cities are
community
Correct article usage
a community
show examples
 duty.
Firstly
, I think having a clean
city
 shouldn't be subjected to a specific party, uncleaned streets will be developed to be
dangerous
Add an article
a dangerous
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 place full of disease and other harmful shapes,
,,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
accordingly
Add a comma
,accordingly
show examples
 each person in his close
society
 should be responsible for his own action, in my views we should think in
this
 as your home, if you don't always clean house and take the garbage out, it will be ended having a bad and dangerous place to live in it.
Moreover
, the government is not always available to watch every single street including side streets and alleys, even if the local
city
 council is applying a tax to support
this
 service but it remains the residents' responsibility to report for unwilling actions committed by others to keep their
city
 clean, another thing to be considered that authority always takes some time to process complaints and act
accordingly
,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
this
 will lead to the unorganized
city
.
Finally
, despite many claims and assumptions about the government's role in cleaning neighbourhoods, I have never seen a clean
city
 without its own residents' support including in my home town. Taking everything into consideration, I would say that contemporary local management led by
society
 should create awareness campaigns to have a clean place including
society
 and the state together.
Submitted by rehameldweik on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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