Some people are concerned that children spend too much time on computers playing games, chatting and watching videos but all this time is actually good preparation for children, who will have to spend many hours working on computers throughout their education and their working lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #time #computers #games #videos #preparation #hours #education #lives

In the future, most of the

Correct your spelling

daily

dailly

Correct your spelling

daily

activities including schooling and occupations would be done on a computerized system. Some argue that promoting youngsters to be with technology from their childhood, by allowing them to compete in computer games, interact

Change preposition

show examples

social media and view online content would give a head start, while others believe it has far adverse consequences. I am in complete agreement with the

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

group.

To begin

with, there are many drawbacks on

socialy

Correct your spelling

socially

social

and on child development, when kids are exposed to

digital

Add an article

the digital

show examples

world.

Firstly

, they develop many psychological problems.

Human

Add an article

The human

show examples

brain is a very complex structure, that

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

proper

nuturing

Correct your spelling

nurturing

in the initial development of children. The unnatural interventions of modern technology

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

badly affected

this

process.

For example

, studies continue to shine

light

Add an article

a light

show examples

on the link

Change preposition

between

show examples

computer games and childhood ADHD ( Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder). They have trouble paying attention and have impulsive behaviour. Both of which

promoted

Add a missing verb

are promoted

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the gaming culture.

Furthermore

, in adult

life

Add a comma

,life

show examples

they would have trouble

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

withe

Correct your spelling

with

show examples

social interaction.

Interpersonnel

Correct your spelling

Interpersonal

communication skills are acquired from family and school while growing up.

This

Correct your spelling

opportunity

oppertunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

is snatched from the generation that spent

entire

Correct pronoun usage

its entire

show examples

time in front of a digital screen.

Thus

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of social skills would have

adverse

Add an article

an adverse

show examples

effect on the future.

On the other hand

Submitted by ghm_day on Sun Sep 25 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

217 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4.5
band
You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion You should write at least 250 words.
Many people say that due to up-to-date technology has made shopping easier nowadays, while others disagree. In my opinion, many benefits of modern technology outweigh the negative impacts. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint in the impending paragraph.
5
band
Contained in the illustration are two pie charts pertaining to the reasons for people to come and leave a European country in 2009.
Generally speaking, company/family was the primary reason why residents moved into this country whereas definite jobs were why the community had to leave their place. In addition, no reasons played the least significant role in both purposes.
5
band
An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops.What are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping center rather than smaller, more traditional shops? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Nowadays a lot of people put more focus towards their job than their families. That is why somebody decides to move away from their relatives and friends to fully focus on the career they persue. This results in both advantages and disadvantages which will be discussed further.
8
band
You recently organized an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in a local hotel. In their feedback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In the letter • Say what the participants liked about the hotel • Explain why they were unhappy about the food • Suggest what the manger should do to improve the food in future
I am writing in connection with the all-day educational meeting that was held on 21 September in your hotel. I am Mahshid Kargar and I was the manager of that event. According to feedback I acquired via questionnaire, participants who attended the meeting said “Although they had a positive opinion about the hotel, the food that was served for lunch was not suitable.” They had complaints about the variety, taste and quality of the foods.
4
band
Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?
Being wealth is an important aspect for human life and also being happy is an essential for human life. In this materialised world, being happy is a tough role for humans. There are some other factors that people ignore to a happy lifestyle factors such as difficult or struggled lifestyle. In next paragraph I am going to explain about lifestyle that healthier and wealth to humans.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that modern technology has made shopping today easier, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion You should write at least 250 words.

Contained in the illustration are two pie charts pertaining to the reasons for people to come and leave a European country in 2009.

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?