IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many young people spend a lot of time on the Internet without any parental supervision or control. What are some of the problems caused by unrestricted use of the Internet and what can be done to curb these problems?

#people #time #internet #supervision #control
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some
people
Use synonyms
 opine that a wide range of teenagers
waste
Change the verb form
wastes
show examples
 a great number of
time
Use synonyms
 on the
Internet
Use synonyms
 without any parental direction or regulation.
This
Linking Words
 has resulted in several problems that need to be tackled as soon as possible. The primary reason would be
that young
Change the determiner
that young person
those young people
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 using many times on the
Internet
Use synonyms
 in order to play games or surfing on social networking sites
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram or Facebook. If they waste their
time
Use synonyms
 doing it
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
uncontrolled, it can lead to neglecting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their study or work. Another reason is that adolescents may have trouble getting enough exercise, and they may end up having health risks like obesity or eye strain. The
last
Linking Words
 problem of using the
internet
Use synonyms
 without
parents
Use synonyms
' supervision is the young maybe can meet some bad content like reactive, violent and depraved.
However
Linking Words
, the problems described above
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not intractable. The simplest measure is that
parents
Use synonyms
 should set
time
Use synonyms
 limits for young
people
Use synonyms
 and create fun activities so that they forget about
Internet
Use synonyms
 usage. A
second
Linking Words
 measure would be to avoid affecting health,
parents
Use synonyms
 should give young
people
Use synonyms
 healthy foods that are good for young
people
Use synonyms
's eyes
such
Linking Words
 as fish,
red
Correct word choice
and red
show examples
 meat.
Besides
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 encourage them to boost physical activities or do household chores to no longer depend on the
Internet
Use synonyms
. Another solution is probably to use software to monitor
teenager's
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers'
show examples
 actions to prevent them from accessing black websites. In conclusion, using a lot of
time
Use synonyms
 on the
Internet
Use synonyms
 is a big problem that affects young
people
Use synonyms
. It's mainly caused by an unhealthy lifestyle and without parental supervision
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and results in severe health problems and academic performance decline.
Submitted by minhnguyenvic on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: