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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Beside a lot of advantages, some people believe that the Internet creates many problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #internet
• Nowadays
by
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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side of many benefits few individuals believe that the
Internet
 creates a lot of problems.
This
 essay agrees that humans are good at using the
internet
,
however
Add a comma
,however
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 it is even worse if they do not know what to
uses
Wrong verb form
use
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 the
internet
 for
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
therefore
 many individuals believe the
internet
 creates many serious problems.
First
 of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
 there are have all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of information
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
 and many
people
 do not
use
 the
internet
 for the right purpose
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
 the
internet
 can cause the breakdown of families. • On the one hand, it is good to
use
 the
Internet
, but some
people
 do not know what is the best way to
use
 the
Internet
, and
as a result
, several problems arise. Because nowadays time has developed so much that almost every boy and girl has a phone and uses the
internet
. They are losing huge amounts of money using all kinds of gambling games.
For example
, online games like PUBG are now being played by all young
people
 and it has captured the youth. •
On the other hand
, we know that the problem
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 using the
Internet
 is the breakdown of families and the fact that many boys and girls become orphans. Because the
Internet
 is attracting
people
 so much that even women are unable to spend time with their children, and
people
 are not even aware that their houses are on fire or their food is burnt, because of
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
this
, the
Internet
 is to blame. For
this
 reason, it is necessary to
use
 the
Internet
 correctly and when necessary.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • E-commerce
  • Consumer behavior
  • Virtual marketplace
  • Cybersecurity
  • Digital footprint
  • Return policy
  • Comparison shopping
  • Customer reviews
  • Retail therapy
  • Logistics
  • User interface
  • Payment gateway
What to do next:
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