IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

The older you get, life becomes more difficult. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#life #answers
The bar chart provides information about
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
show examples
 of
rainfalls
 in Australia during
last
 year. Overall,
rate
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the rate
show examples
 has fluctuations,
upward
Correct word choice
and upward
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 and downward trends. More
rainfalls
 we may see in the spring. In general,
contrast
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the contrast
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 between
monthly
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the monthly
show examples
 total for
last
 year and
average
Correct article usage
the average
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 total for
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 40 years is almost missing.
Most
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The most
show examples
amount
Change to a plural noun
amounts
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 of
rainfalls
Correct article usage
the rainfalls
show examples
 accounted for January February and March, where
rainfalls
exceeding
Wrong verb form
exceeded
show examples
 60
mm
. In April
rainfalls
 decreased sharply, it was approximately 20
mm
. In may we may see
gradual
Add an article
a gradual
show examples
 increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
rainfalls
,
however
, it is still less than 40
mm
.
Amount
Correct article usage
The amount
show examples
 of
Rainfalls
Fix the agreement mistake
Rainfall
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 in November and December almost remained constant
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and made up approximately 40
mm
.
Whole
Correct article usage
The whole
show examples
 summer, from June to September there was
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 decrease.
Moreover
, August is hitting a low point, it comprised less than 10
mm
. Yet, September’s result rose to about 15
mm
, indeed October
also
 is hitting a low point.
Submitted by milyyy.aaa on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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