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Band 5

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times
Human beings have been trying to improve their quality of living for many centuries. Some people believe that the majority of the population has started to enjoy improved standards of life which was only a dream for the older generations. In my opinion, I completely agree with
this
 idea because we can observe that
satisfaction
Correct article usage
the satisfaction
show examples
 of individuals has increased exponentially because of the reasons that I will outline in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with, people are more contented in today's era because technology has enabled them to communicate more effectively.
This
 is because communication has become much faster in recent years. Replacement of letters, which took days and months to reach desired destinations, by
Whatsapp
Correct your spelling
WhatsApp
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 messages and video calls on
skype
Capitalize word
Skype
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, which take no time to connect, is the best illustration of
this
 phenomenon.
Therefore
, the new generation is much happier now because of improvements in means of communication.
Furthermore
. supply of food has increased tremendously in just a few years, which was not that effective in the previous era. The rise in imports and exports is evidence of
this
 as now goods like food items from other regions can be transferred in huge amounts, which was impossible in the past.
This
 movement of many food products has not only become possible but
also
 can be done at a larger scale
due to
 the evolution
in
Change preposition
of
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 trading through ships and planes.
This
 advancement,
therefore
, has increased satisfaction to a great extent in terms of finishing hunger from the world. In conclusion,
although
 some people may have less time to spend with family because of living
this
 fast-paced life, they are enjoying much better standards of life, because they can talk with others within seconds and they can
also
 satisfy their appetite from a variety of foods, which was quite difficult for our ancestors.
Submitted by farrukh.maqsood on

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task response
The essay addresses the question and presents a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is somewhat clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be developed further.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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