IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays people can use computers to talk, learn and communicate without leaving home. There is a danger that it will cause more isolation and a lack of communication among people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #computers #home #danger #isolation #lack #communication
Have you ever thought about the effects of technology on our
lives
 in today's
world
? Computers are one the most important and efficient inventions these days.
Although
this
 gadget has a lot of advantages which can help us to improve our
lives
 and help us to do whatever we need, like learning, working, and communicating, it may cause some irrecoverable issues in people's
lives
. The most important of which are Isolation and lack of communication. There are a lot of applications that we can use to connect with our families all over the
world
, we can find new
friends
, we can share our experiences in a while, and we can have voice calls and
also
 video calls, but the important point that we must pay attention to, is all of them are happening in a virtual
world
 so can not feel and understand our deep feelings
therefore
although
 they are called
friends
, we could not have intimate relationships with them. As connecting through computers and the internet does not create a suitable platform to share what is exactly in our minds or how are our feelings,
then
this
 can cause isolation and lack of
friends
 in long term. Apart from that, in the virtual
world
, people can introduce themselves as
imaginary
Add an article
an imaginary
show examples
 character or take the place of the person that they wish to be. So the more facing
such
 situation, the less their trust becomes;
This
 can isolate people and can affect their trustworthiness in long term. Decreasing reliance,
also
 can cause depression and losing
friends
. In conclusion,
although
 computers and new technologies make our
lives
 more comfortable and everything accessible but losing trust and not being able to share deep feelings can affect intimacy and would cause isolation and lack of communication.
Submitted by selva.salimi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: