IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that it is an individual responsibilty to take care of an environment but others think it is government's job to do so. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

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Recently, with the development of
individuals
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' education levels and environmental awareness, the environmental issue has gained more and more attention than before. A
part
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 of people prefer that it is an individual responsibility to protect our
environment
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, in the opposite, others believe it is the
government
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's duty to solve problems. In my opinion, I think both
individuals
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 and
government
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 should be responsible for protecting our
environment
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 in different parts.
This
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 paper will outline the reasons.
Firstly
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, the
government
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 must take responsibility for our
environment
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 as they express the attitude of one country. What's more, they
also
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 have various advantages to help with our
environment
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 as their' opinions will greatly influence people's attitudes.
For example
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, if the
government
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 of one country doesn't
care
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 about the protection of our world, their
individuals
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 will not
care
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 about
this
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 issue,either.
Besides
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, they have a huge effect on social media
as well as
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 the budget, if they could take
part
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 in
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 protection, I believe it would be easier and more effective if they could express their opinion and call on people to take
care
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 of our
environment
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.
In addition
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,
individuals
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 should
also
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 take
care
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 of our environmental problems as they are a big
part
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 of
this
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 world and environmental problems are related to their lives closely and directly. The number of
individuals
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 is huge and if everyone can join in and practice, the influence will be remarkable. To help our earth, we could do some simple things in our daily lives,
such
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 as reusing plastic bottles and recycling glass containers.
Moreover
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, saving water and energy is
also
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 a small but useful tip to protect our
environment
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. In conclusion, our world
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
consists of countless
individuals
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, is not only the
government
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's job to take
care
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 of our earth but
also
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 everyone should join it. Don't forget, that power of
individuals
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 can never be overlooked. Everyone is one
part
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 of
this
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 earth and if we all take action practice, I believe that our
environment
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 will be better.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to minimize grammar and vocabulary errors. This will help in delivering your message more clearly.
examples
Providing more specific examples and detailed explanations on both individuals’ and governments’ roles would strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
coherence cues
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to ensure the essay reads smoothly. Using more transitional words and phrases can help in achieving this.
balance
The essay effectively addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced perspective.
conclusion
Your conclusion succinctly reaffirms your stance and emphasizes the importance of collective responsibility, which is a strong point.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • individual responsibility
  • government's job
  • environmental protection
  • carbon footprint
  • personal accountability
  • behavioral change
  • education and awareness
  • large-scale policies
  • emissions controls
  • deforestation monitoring
  • compliance
  • grassroots support
  • systemic level
  • sustainable technologies
  • collaborative efforts
  • fund research and development
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