Some people think that is a government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #government #health #community #part

The current global pandemic has made public

health

an important topic in

Correct article usage

the world-over

show examples

world-over

Correct your spelling

world over

show examples

. There is a wider argument that public

health

should be looked after at the national level, while others believe that it should stem from each individual. I am in agreement with the latter view.

To begin

with, authorities should bear the weight of maintaining the physical and mental well-being of society.

Firstly

, a healthy nation is a great asset to the country. A major component of

community

medicine comprises interventions to ensure the public remains healthy.

This

means the

health

cost is maintained at a much lesser cost compared with that of treating patients with sicknesses.

Hence

, it should be the responsibility of policymakers and governing bodies to take

community

health

seriously.

For example

, the government's spending on reducing the

mosquitoe

Correct your spelling

mosquito

mosquitoes

burden

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

reduced the number of people admitted with dengue fever, a disease transmitted by mosquitoes.

Furthermore

, the earning capacity of a healthy individual is more and

therefore

the country's development is greatly determined by the

health

of the society.

On the other hand

, the

community

should actively participate in improving

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

standards.

Otherwise

, no intervention is going to be effective nor sustainable, if they are imposed and not originating from the

community

For instance

, the most effective intervention to tackle the

mosquitoes

Change noun form

mosquito's

mosquitoes'

show examples

breeding grounds was proven to be, small communities being vigilant and destroying water stagnating areas which could be possible breeding grounds of the mosquitoes that carry dengue fever. In conclusion, even

thought

Correct your spelling

though

show examples

the government should take up public

health

to maintain a healthy nation in order to develop,

nevertheless

the responsibility lies mainly in society because no intervention would be successful

otherwise

Submitted by ghm_day on Mon Sep 26 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that is a government should be responsible for improving public health. Others, however, believe that everyone in the community should take part in this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is believed that children from countries with high level of unemployment should be offered only primary education and should noy be offered secondary education as it unlikely that they will get a job in the future anyway. do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, many small shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centres or malls to do their shopping. is this a postive or negative development?

Some people think that children should receive formal training at school on how to be good parents in the future. Do you agree or disagree with this statement??

The position of women has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies cannot claim to have achieved gender equality. To what extent do you agree or disagree?