IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

#people #drinks #drink
It is true that there is a growing number of people having
sugar
-based beverages.
This
 phenomenon can be attributed to several factors, which can require several solutions to be adopted. There are various reasons that can be offered to explain the problem of people drinking sugary
drinks
. One possible explanation is that sugary products provide extra energy, thereby maintaining high concentration for work and study. Employees who have a considerable amount of workload need to stay awake, and
therefore
 a lot of consumers may choose to buy
sugar
-based
drinks
. Another reason worth mentioning is that children enjoy having
sugar
-based beverages that are produced in various
flavors
Change the spelling
flavours
show examples
, more than other high nutritional
drinks
.
Thus
, more and more teenagers consume soft
drinks
 on a daily basis. Various measures,
nevertheless
, can be implemented to address these issues. The
first
 possible solution is that the government should impose more taxes on buying
drinks
 that contain high
sugar
 content. By the time the prices increase, sugary
drinks
 will have been more pricey than they used to be, and
thus
 it will have discouraged the locals from consuming beverages that contained
sugar
. The
second
 approach is that in spite of advertising about the benefits, companies should emphasize some outstanding drawbacks that
sugar
-based
drinks
 have.
Therefore
, people of all ages can recognize its negatives and refrain from absorbing a lot of
sugar
 from
sugar
-based
drinks
. In conclusion,
although
 many reasons can be given to explain why numerous individuals frequently purchase
drinks
 that contain
sugar
, steps can be taken to alleviate the situation.
Submitted by vohoangthienan2610 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: