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Some people think that the education system should only focus on preparing students for employment, while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both side and then give your opinion

#people #education #system #focus #students #employment #functions #side
A number of individuals have believed that focusing on employability is the most pivotal education goal these days, whereas others have disapproved and thought that there are other crucial elements needed by students,
such
 as good character, soft skills, and digital abilities.
This
 essay will explain both two views and argue in favour of the latter notion. On the one hand, it is evident that a future career is one of the important subjects in the educational process, which needs to be regarded by schools' committee.
In other words
, schools should prepare the readiness of children to get better jobs in the future by providing some training, useful materials, and professional certifications.
As a result
 of only providing materials focusing on employment preparation, the activities will be beneficial for the success of the alumnae in their future life.
On the other hand
, there are other pivotal factors for human beings
instead
 of success, including good character, soft skills, and digital abilities.
Moreover
, having these elements could make people happier, more adaptable, and acceptable in societies;
thus
, it is preferable for educational institutions to provide not only subjects focusing on jobs but
also
 other positive subjects which are beneficial for social activity.
For example
, owing to having good characters, students will not only get better work but
also
 impressing social life, like owning numerous friends and judging as a trustworthy person In conclusion, only giving materials related to a job could make the alumnae be a success in working effectively.
However
, I believe that providing wide positive items is more beneficial for students because they will get not only work but
also
 a higher quality of life.
Submitted by IELTS_8 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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