In the future people will not need to have schools, galleries, museums or libraries because everything from education to culture and entertainment will be available online. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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It is indeed true that the consumption of technology has been rising at an alarming rate across the globe. A school of thought suggests that utilisation of the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

can replace the current education system, traditions and entertainment facilities which will be easily accessed through different sources.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss why people shun to use of technology in every sector.

Initially

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, in

this

Linking Words

contemporary era, individuals have a hectic schedule and do not have adequate time to explore the various sites like museums, art galleries, sculptures, historical monuments or libraries with their family and friends

instead

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they can see a number of sites by sitting at one place with different scenic views that may consume less time without wasting physical energy.

Additionally

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,using the network, children can take lessons from professional tutors at home

as well as

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easily attain information from different authorized sites.

For instance

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, a survey found that in the

corona

Correct your spelling

coronavirus

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pandemic,

due to

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lockdown children can get virtual classes and watch several movies online that may be beneficial to get rid of some stress and anxiety.

Therefore

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, I think in future all the necessary development will be available online for people.

However

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, watching the place by going over there can have its own significance.

Firstly

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, students can easily obtain solutions to their academic problems by discussing them with their classmates, which is not possible through online learning.

Secondly

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, live visiting

Change preposition

apply

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ancient monuments

proffer

Correct subject-verb agreement

proffers

show examples

a different experience of the creativity made by artists which may feel like the real atmosphere and it does not provide any enthusiasm by scrolling on the screen.

Thirdly

Linking Words

,excessive time devoted to computers and mobile phones

play

Verb problem

has

show examples

a detrimental impact on the physical and mental health of humans.

For example

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, the Indian government spend a large amount of money to make tourist

attraction

Fix the agreement mistake

attractions

show examples

because from that they generate revenues

as well as

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maintain the

tradition

Fix the agreement mistake

traditions

show examples

of the nation.

Thus

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, digital networks for all works can have a perilous impact on society.

Hence

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, I would conclude that

due to

Linking Words

digitalisation people will only depend on online sources rather than taking personal visits because of the availability of online classes and other entertainment media at affordable prices.

Finally

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, the use of technology has its own

limitation

Fix the agreement mistake

limitations

show examples

and no one can neglect the presence of human beings in certain areas.

Leena KapoorTue Sep 27 2022

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task achievement

Your essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding the future of schools, galleries, museums, and libraries in the digital age. However, your points could be backed up with more precise and varied examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, mention specific online platforms or successful case studies.

task achievement

The ideas presented in your essay are generally clear, but there are moments where sentences are long and slightly confusing. Breaking them into shorter, more concise sentences can help ensure each idea is clearly conveyed. For instance, the sentence starting with 'For example, the Indian government spend...' can be separated into multiple sentences for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion overall. However, you could improve the logical structure by using more transitional phrases to link ideas more smoothly. Words like 'moreover', 'in addition', and 'conversely' can help to show the relationship between ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Your essay's introduction and conclusion are generally solid, although the conclusion could be more impactful. Consider summarizing the main points more succinctly and offering a compelling final thought or call to action to leave a stronger impression on the reader.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. The structure is logical and contributes to the coherence of your response.

task achievement

You have addressed the task question by discussing both the potential benefits of digitalization and the importance of physical visits. This balanced approach demonstrates a full understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The examples you provided, such as the impact of the pandemic on education and the role of the Indian government in promoting tourism, are relevant and support your main points, even though they could be more detailed.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

382 words

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In the future people will not need to have schools, galleries, museums or libraries because everything from education to culture and entertainment will be available online. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Your opinion

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not resposilbe to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.

In some parts of the world , many famous people are regarded as 'role models' and they are having an increasing on the youth Is that a positive or negative developments

Some people think that the universities must only accept student with high mark, while others believe that universities must accept students of all ages regardless of their previous grades. Discuss both views and give your opinion.