IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Countries spends large amount of money on sports competitions. Do you think the advantages outweight the disadvantages.

#countries #amount #money #sports #competitions #outweight
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Spending money
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 sports
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
 by
countries
Use synonyms
 increased
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it has positive and negative sides
however
Linking Words
 the
advantages
Use synonyms
 have
Correct article usage
a stong
show examples
Correct your spelling
strong
show examples
stong
Correct your spelling
strong
show examples
 influence
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 drawbacks.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
advantages
Use synonyms
,
sport
Use synonyms
competiton
Correct your spelling
competition
competitions
 spread in the world
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 culture improve by
event
Add an article
the event
an event
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who do
sport
Use synonyms
 can be
shows
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
increased
Change the verb form
to increase
show examples
. Due to
this
Linking Words
 rise,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who is more
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
 than now able to reveal in a few years. Harmful substance
uses
Fix the agreement mistake
use
show examples
 may be decreased by
addicted
Correct article usage
an addicted
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
show examples
.
Instead
Linking Words
 of bad
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
, they prefer to do
Use synonyms
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 or watch
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 competition. In addıtıon
to organize
Change the verb form
organizing
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
competitons
Correct your spelling
competitions
 contribute importantly to
Add an article
the country
show examples
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 economy. Because tourists come from different
nationality
Fix the agreement mistake
nationalities
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 watch and attend.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 it has some
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
. Due to huge
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 organization
such
Linking Words
 as UEFA,
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
 could be
crowded
Add an article
the crowded
show examples
 advent of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
. Some transportation and accommodation
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 could
be occur
Change the verb form
occur
show examples
. Unless government cope with
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 problems, disturbing
Correct your spelling
situation
situaiton
Correct your spelling
situations
 probably emerge in terms of the community.
Finally
Linking Words
, it
Replace the word
affects
show examples
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 rivalry among
countries
Use synonyms
. The downside of
this
Linking Words
 is that
people
Use synonyms
 can be racist
Correct your spelling
against
aganist
Correct your spelling
against
 each other.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 they are so big fanatic that it
colud
Correct your spelling
could
should
 be damage to surroundings. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conckusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
countries
Use synonyms
 should allocate a budget for
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activity.
Although
Linking Words
 there are
advantages
Use synonyms
 and disadvantages,
advantages
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 considerable for
countries
Use synonyms
 and
people
Use synonyms
. Government should take
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
 about disadvantages and arrange
competitons
Correct your spelling
competitions
 in
Correct your spelling
various
variious
Correct your spelling
various
 sports branches.
Submitted by canangul05 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: