IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, the use of digital payment methods
such
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 as credit cards and mobile apps has significantly increased, leading many to believe that
cash
Use synonyms
 may eventually disappear.
While
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 it is possible that
one
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 day all transactions will be
cashless
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, I believe that completely eliminating physical money may not be realistic in the near future. There are
also
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 valid reasons why some individuals would resist
this
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 change. On the
one
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 hand, digital payments offer many advantages that make them appealing. They are often faster, more convenient, and reduce the need to carry large amounts of money.
For instance
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, mobile apps like Apple Pay and Google Pay allow
people
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 to make quick purchases simply by tapping their phones.
Moreover
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, governments and businesses might support a
cashless
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society
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 as it helps reduce tax evasion and makes it easier to track financial activity.
However
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, completely removing
cash
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 from
society
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 could create problems for certain groups. Elderly
people
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,
for example
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, may struggle to adapt to new technologies and could find it difficult to manage digital payments.
In addition
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,
people
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 living in rural or less developed areas might not have access to smartphones, internet, or banking services. For these individuals,
cash
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 remains the most reliable method of payment.
Furthermore
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, some
people
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 value
cash
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 for privacy reasons. When paying with
cash
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, there is no digital record of the transaction, which appeals to those who are concerned about data security or who simply prefer not to be tracked.
In contrast
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, every card or phone transaction leaves a digital footprint, raising concerns about surveillance and loss of anonymity. In conclusion,
although
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society
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 is clearly moving towards more
cashless
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 payments, I believe that
cash
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 will still be needed for a long time, particularly for those who are not comfortable or able to use digital methods.
While
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 a fully
cashless
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society
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 may be possible
one
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 day, it is important to ensure that no
one
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 is left behind during
this
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 transition.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and coherent argument. Ensure that your main points are explicitly connected to your thesis throughout the essay for even greater clarity.
task achievement
While your ideas are comprehensive, you could strengthen your argument by providing more specific examples or data to support your points about the impact on different demographics.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured and make a clear statement regarding your position. A slightly stronger conclusion summarizing your main arguments might enhance the overall impact.
task achievement
Your use of relevant examples like Apple Pay and Google Pay enhances your arguments and makes them relatable.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is logically structured with clear paragraphs, each addressing distinct aspects of the argument.
task achievement
You effectively address both sides of the argument, showing a balanced understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
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