Children can learn effectively by watching television. Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #television #home #school

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Some people believe teenagers will have the ability to learn more effectively by watching TV and should

therefore

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Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

encouraged to watch more of it regularly at their private residence or school. In

this

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essay, I will explain why I do not agree with

this

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statement.

Firstly

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, letting children watch television on their own would expose them to random content which is not appropriate for their age

as well as

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getting view problems at an early age. Youngsters will have access to any kind of movies or shows that could hurt them when they become older.

For instance

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, children under 15 years of age have been banned from watching TV in China.

Besides

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, experts have done studies that showed that younger viewers’ eyes are more sensitive and will be harmed in the process of staring at the screen.

As a result

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, these youngsters will require glasses when they get older since their vision

got

Wrong verb form

gets

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worse because of

this

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Secondly

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, broadcast content has

Correct article usage

the

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pure purpose of entertaining and avoiding the process of thinking. kids will have a higher chance of learning more from reading or talking to adults about what is happening in their surroundings than from watching television.

For example

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, a study from 2008 that was done in Canada showed that from the ages 1 to 8 years old, children have proven to learn new topics in school by listening to their teacher and asking questions.

In addition

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to that, it has been shown that in later years there has increased the number of

graduated

Change the form of the verb

graduate

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students who spent less time watching TV. In conclusion, there are better options for younger individuals when it comes to gaining new information

such

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as reading, processing, and talking about

this

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content with others. In saying

this

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, I do not agree with the statement above because teaching happens in moments that would benefit them better rather than staring at a screen.

Submitted by mosumi431985 on Tue Sep 27 2022

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task response

The essay does not fully address the specific task question and lacks a clear position on the topic. The reasons for disagreeing with the statement are not well developed and lack depth.

coherence and cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. The structure of the essay could be improved by providing a stronger thesis statement and summarizing the main points in the conclusion.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

318 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

passive
sedentary
limit
creativity
imagination
educational content
expose
different cultures
perspectives
negative effects
behavior

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It is better for students to live away from home while studying at university than to live with parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.