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Band 6

Some people say that education and heath care should be the responsibility of the goverment but other thinks that it is the responsibility of the individuals themseves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #heath #care #responsibility #goverment #individuals #themseves
Nowadays, Many individuals argued that the education system and health care facilities are
also
 responsible to the law-maker. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the other side people trust all systems
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 responsible for themselves. In my opinion, healthy life and study in universities and colleges are provided facilities by the region's authority. I'm going to discuss both views and give my perspective in the upcoming fourth paragraphs.
To begin
, The education and hospitalization system is always given by the rules and law-power is
also
 an important part of all human beings. To explain, Many governments are always responsible for all problems and situations because a lot of violence increasing day by day and is
also
 responsible for police power and nations' authority.
For Instance
, In Britain news channels reveal that a huge factor of citizens is always worried about their health and their child's education.
Thus
, Problems and solution is always the responsibility of the country's laws. To commence, On the other side persons believe that all caring and systems care in their own style. To explicated, The human being does not need any other people's help in their personal life it's good for their mental health and physical activities.
For example
, In the USA all citizens have their problems solved in their own way and it's beneficial for their children in their future work and career.
Hence
,
This
 is a good way to develop their life situations and no longer need anyone's ideas. In conclusion,
Although
 both sides are correct in their own nature and responsible for their soul and heart in the future.
Moreover
, Massive being
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
show examples
 developed for their task and it's useful in the upcoming years and
next
 action of time.
Submitted by razab5469 on

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Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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