IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

#people #men #women #job #jobs
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Most
of
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apply
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Use synonyms
people
Add an article
the people
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thinks
Change the verb form
think
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 that
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
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 are the same rights. They are able to do any kind of job that they want.
However
Linking Words
, others assume that
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 are not the same
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 is why there are certain jobs that
women
Use synonyms
 can't do it. On one hand, many
people
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 believe that
men
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 and
women
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 have the same rights. In society, they are treated equally. They can participate in all kinds of fields that they want
for example
Linking Words
 doctors, nurses, farmers, labours, engineers etc.
Women
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 have the same power as
men
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. They don't have any difference. They can do any type of work that they can do and I agree.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Few
people
Use synonyms
 feel that
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 are different. There are certain professions in that only
men
Use synonyms
 can participate.
Women
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 are not able to take part in all kinds of jobs because they don't have the ability.
Women
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 are weak as compared to
men
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 and they can join in all kinds of fields. In conclusion, all human beings have the same rights. They have the same energy and strength
therefore
Linking Words
 they can join in any work that they want. In society,
people
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 should treat all human beings equally. There
is
Change the verb form
are
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 no differences between them.
In
Change preposition
As
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result
Correct article usage
a result
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, we can see
men
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 and
women
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 in all professions.
Submitted by Faisal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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