IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Machines have replaced physical work in many industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#machines #work #industries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that machines have taken over manual tasks in numerous fields by rapid growth in cutting-edge technology. To a large extent, I agree that
this
Linking Words
 trend has more benefits than drawbacks.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss my stance with examples in subsequent paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the application of tools promotes economic development across the world and facilitates superior job opportunities for people. To explain
this
Linking Words
, the high efficiency brought by using the instruments have increased the productions than before,
as a result
Linking Words
, the product sales and profit have increased.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the need for employees to learn to operate these engines may rise.
For instance
Linking Words
, students who receive higher education in artificial intelligence or engineering may become proficient in their jobs.
Hence
Linking Words
, these applications encourage a better standard of living.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is believed that extensive use of engine automation leads to rising unemployment in many industries.
This
Linking Words
 is because these appliances may have higher precision than humans and the demand for repetitive physical labour may not be required. To illustrate, In the early 90s, as per the new report ,as many as fifty thousand people lost their job when physical work was replaced by machines.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, workers who are replaced by the motor mechanism may be less needed by industries.
Thus
Linking Words
, many individuals who have not received secondary education may suffer from losing their jobs. In conclusion, despite gadgets replacing the work previously done by physical labours, the economic development and number of job facilities have grown. I strongly urge the central bodies and government to help the unskilled workmen in their professional development.
Therefore
Linking Words
, its merits outweigh the negatives.
Submitted by soumya.khatua on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: