Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#parents #women #home #care #members #work #people #government

In the modernized and globalised

world

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,world

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it has become

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arduous task for parents to manage both household chores and a job. Nowadays, it is

prefered

Correct your spelling

performed

by a plethora of families to

priortise

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prioritise

the needs of their kith and

kins

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kin

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and avoid working outside. Some opine that

regime

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the regime

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ought to give some monetary benefits to these

home-makers

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homemakers

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. I commend the above notion

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apply

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and

afffirm

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affirm

that financial assistance must be provided to the people who choose to watch out

their

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for their

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

To begin

with, equality among both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

genders would be likely to be seen if government pays

salary

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salaries

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house-managers

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house managers

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Moreover

, the chores at home are quite challenging and devoting full time and energy to the requirements of each family member is

also

cumbersome. In a recent survey,

for example

, it was conducted that if salaries were to be given out, the homemakers would be paid 30 per cent more according to the amount of work they do.

Thus

, the ability to

Furthermore

, a better upbringing of

young

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the young

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generation with full devoted time to them and

also

assist them in

learing

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learning

the household

activties

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activities

In addition

this

, it is commonly seen that youngsters as well the inlaws staying in

joint

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the joint

a joint

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family have to be paid more attention as they become more demanding at times. The

kins

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kids

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need to have a better

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perspective

pespective

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perspective

of the future and learn how to overcome emotional issues in their future and

this

could only be comprehended by their parents. In conclusion, in my perspective,

although

some individuals believe that

exorbitent

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exorbitant

expenses would be spent on paying

the

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for the

show examples

traditional duties of women,

this

would make them independent and will

also

do their duty diligently.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

Fully explain your ideas

The increase in food production is mostly due to fertilisers and better machinery. Yet, some think that it harms human health and communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that we should replace all plastic products with more environmentally-friendly materials, such as glass. Do you agree or disagree.

Schools, not parents, should be responsible for teaching children good behaviour. Who should be responsible for teaching children good behaviour, and what can be done to promote good behaviour?

Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve. Others, however, believe that these problems cannot be solved if individuals do not take actions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.