Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

#parents #women #home #care #members #work #people #government

In the modernized and globalised

world

Add a comma

,world

show examples

it has become

Change the article

show examples

arduous task for parents to manage both household chores and a job. Nowadays, it is

prefered

Correct your spelling

performed

by a plethora of families to

priortise

Correct your spelling

prioritise

the needs of their kith and

kins

Fix the agreement mistake

kin

show examples

and avoid working outside. Some opine that

regime

Correct article usage

the regime

show examples

ought to give some monetary benefits to these

home-makers

Correct your spelling

homemakers

show examples

. I commend the above notion

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

afffirm

Correct your spelling

affirm

that financial assistance must be provided to the people who choose to watch out

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

family

Fix the agreement mistake

families

show examples

To begin

with, equality among both

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

genders would be likely to be seen if government pays

salary

Fix the agreement mistake

salaries

show examples

house-managers

Correct your spelling

house managers

show examples

Moreover

, the chores at home are quite challenging and devoting full time and energy to the requirements of each family member is

also

cumbersome. In a recent survey,

for example

, it was conducted that if salaries were to be given out, the homemakers would be paid 30 per cent more according to the amount of work they do.

Thus

, the ability to

Furthermore

, a better upbringing of

young

Add an article

the young

show examples

generation with full devoted time to them and

also

assist them in

learing

Correct your spelling

learning

the household

activties

Correct your spelling

activities

In addition

this

, it is commonly seen that youngsters as well the inlaws staying in

joint

Add an article

the joint

a joint

show examples

family have to be paid more attention as they become more demanding at times. The

kins

Correct your spelling

kids

show examples

need to have a better

Correct your spelling

perspective

pespective

Correct your spelling

perspective

of the future and learn how to overcome emotional issues in their future and

this

could only be comprehended by their parents. In conclusion, in my perspective,

although

some individuals believe that

exorbitent

Correct your spelling

exorbitant

expenses would be spent on paying

the

Change preposition

for the

show examples

traditional duties of women,

this

would make them independent and will

also

do their duty diligently.

Submitted by tarankaur15 on Wed Sep 28 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, people are more aware of the fact that the labour market is becoming more competitive than ever before. It therefore leads to the question of whether or not we should expect children to learn at a younger age, especially a foreign language. In this essay, I will discuss both views and give out the reasons as well as show my opinion on the topic.
<4
band
You were supposed to go on an interview in a few weeks, but you have since found out you cannot go on the date arranged.
I am writing to express my concerns about not being able to be interviewed on the date arranged.
6
band
A new sports centre has opened in your area. You want to visit the new sports centre and get some information. Write an letter to your friend to invite him/her.
I hope this letter finds you in good health and high spirits. In the past month, I have been thinking about changing my lifestyle and decided to pay more attention to my health
5
band
Do children behave better when they are physically punished or rewarded?
Raising a child to be a good citizen is a big responsibility. Some people believe that physically enforcing kids will help them to become a better person in the future rather than nurturing them in a positive way. I strongly advocate in growing little hands with full of love, respect, support, and compassion as punishing them at such a young age will impact their brain very badly. Therefore, positive environment is a fundamental right for every little kid rather than threatening surroundings.
5.5
band
Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a debate that university scholars need solely focus on learning their courses, whereas others believe that learning additional study materials is necessary for campus students. It seems to me that additional courses are crucial for university students. This essay, however, will elaborate more on both sides.

Many parents (mostly women) decide to stay home and take care of the family members instead of going out for work. Some people suggest that they should be paid by the government for doing that. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

You were supposed to go on an interview in a few weeks, but you have since found out you cannot go on the date arranged.

A new sports centre has opened in your area. You want to visit the new sports centre and get some information. Write an letter to your friend to invite him/her.

Do children behave better when they are physically punished or rewarded?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.