In some places, old age is valued,while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
older citizens play
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
role whereas ,
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
opine that
youngsters
are very crucial for their society. I
also
agree with the former view in
this
given statement.
This
essay intends to discuss my point of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
show examples
in detail. To commence with, there are many reasons why in some
countries
Correct your spelling
holders
orders
olders
Correct your spelling
older
are very important. The
first
and foremost reason is
that old citizens
Change the determiner
that old citizen
those old citizens
show examples
are more experienced and knowledgeable. To elaborate, old people have
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of experience
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
any work .
They
Add a verb
areThey
wereThey
show examples
well known
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
our culture and traditions as well as business.
Olders
Correct your spelling
Orders
Older
Elders
are
Add an article
the inspiration
an inspiration
show examples
inspiration
Fix the agreement mistake
inspirations
show examples
for us . When younger face any problem so they always give the
valed
Correct your spelling
valid
solution.
Olders
Correct your spelling
Orders
Older
Elders
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only provide solutions for youth but
also
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
them to motivate in their life to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their desires and
also
help them to get a good job.
For example
, according to a survey 'The Time of India ' that
three quarter
Add a hyphen
three-quarter
show examples
youngsters
are fully successful in their life, only because of older help as well as their knowledge.
On the other hand
, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
of reasons why in numerous nations
youngsters
essential. The primary reason is that young
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
are more energetic as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to older. To explain, in
this
modern era,
youngsters
do ample
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
in
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
day
Add an article
a day
the day
show examples
in a short time of period. They are the young blood so due to
this
, youth want to accomplish their goals and dreams.
Although
, they
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their own needs but because of their achievements in different fields
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
gain more respect and profit from other
countries
. In Mumbai,
for example
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of youth play
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
role
countries
upbringing as well as
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
. To sum up ,
although
youngsters
are
energetic
Correct quantifier usage
more energetic
show examples
rather than old but older plays great significance in
Add an article
an individuals
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
life as well as in notion. I
also
believe that older
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more important.
Submitted by Pablagurseerat on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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