IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

These days, people work in more than one job and often change carrier several times during their life. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this.

#people #work #job #change #carrier #times #life
In the modern era, many many kinds want to
work
 in more than
one
 job.
However
, often they change
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 career many times in their
life
. As every garden
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 weeds,
similarly
this
 situation is both benefits as well as drawbacks and
this
 essay will
highlights
Change the verb form
highlight
show examples
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
aspects. To commence with the views of advantages,
one
 of the major plus
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in more than
one
 job is the fact that everybody wants to leave a
luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
show examples
life
 in the contemporary Era, but it is not possible without a proper income. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, they accept many careers in their
life
 to improve their standard and lifestyle.
for example
, teachers can teach in
school
Add an article
a school
show examples
 in the morning and they
also
 teach in the evening as a home
tutor
Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
show examples
 to extend their salary.
In a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 survey found that in developed countries like the USA and England people have more
capable
Replace the word
capacity
show examples
 to do many kinds of
work
 because they are
fully
Replace the adverb
full
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
accepted and have a lot of skills. Shifted towards a view of disagreement, it is observed that if
one
 person can do a lot of activities and change their career in their
life
. So, it is directly affected on future. Because they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
proper
work
 experience and every company wants
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that type of employee
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 their proper attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
.
Secondly
, if
individual
Add an article
an individual
the individual
show examples
 can perform many occupations and have not
leisture
Correct your spelling
leisure
 time for other activities. They may be got depressed and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not able to spend time with their family. To conclude
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
this
, I believe that
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 negatives are overlapping
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 its positive because everybody
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to choose
one
 carrier and improve
itself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 in
one
 field. Due to
this
, they can
also
 increase their output and have some free time for other sports activities.
Submitted by poonam.chaudhary0099 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: