Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in, To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, avarice and egotism
has
been rooted Change the verb form
have
on
individual Change preposition
in
life
. It is considered that holding the traditional and ancentor’s
principles are the best approach to make better social Correct your spelling
ancestor's
life
, particulaly
in value of respect both to family members and to Correct your spelling
particularly
society
. I firmly agree about that solution due to some justifications, such
as maintaining family’s
harmony and increasing the sense of solidarity Change noun form
family
among
Change preposition
in
society
.
The foremost reason is maintaining
Change the verb form
to maintain
the
unity in the households. It is clear that family is the closest people that usually give Correct article usage
apply
the
hands to help us if we have severe conditions. Correct pronoun usage
us the
By respecting
them, it can increase their empathy for us and Change preposition
Respecting
maintaining
Wrong verb form
maintain
harmonial
relationships among family members. Correct your spelling
harmonious
Thus
, when someone has sadness or serious problems they can assist us to gain a solution. For instance
, when the family has a medical need that requires much money to get medication in the hospital, by
giving them financial assistance, of course, can lead them happy so that in the future they can Change preposition
apply
also
do the same help for
us.
Change preposition
apply
In addition
, becoming greedy and selfish individuals can get jeered among
Change preposition
by
society
. Because social life
is inclined to uphold solidarity values among them. Meanwhile, selfishness and egotism are far from the basis of solidarity itself. Consequently
, not only will be they avoided by the
Correct article usage
apply
society
, but also
they can get negative attitudes as well. Taking Pancasila as the ideology of Indonesia as an example. From the beginning, when Soekarno proposed his ideas about national basis (pancasila
), he mentioned that unity in the diversity Change the capitalization
Pancasila
as
the biggest reason behind Correct your spelling
is
five
principles of Pancasila, so that Correct article usage
the five
they
who do not follow that, it represents that they do not want Correct pronoun usage
those
become
social members of Change the verb form
to become
indonesia
.
To summarise, to make Change the capitalization
Indonesia
better
Add an article
a better
life
in whether
Correct word choice
apply
society
or family, maintaining our respect and sympathy to
them are salient because it can make Change preposition
for
the
harmony in Correct article usage
apply
family
and Add an article
the family
led
make unity Change the verb form
lead
among
Change preposition
in
society
.Submitted by IELTS_8 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite