IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Education in prison is the best way to reduce crime as prisoners will be able to get a job after leaving prison. Do you agree or disagree?

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There has been a debate among different sections of society in recent times about schooling in jail
is
Correct your spelling
as
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 the better method to minimize violation as
offenders
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 will get employment after
releasing
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release
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 from the jailhouse. I
favor
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favour
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this
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 view as
education
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 addresses the root causes of criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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 and motivates them towards their career paths. The main reason behind
this
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 thought is that schooling in
prison
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 often provides the opportunity for employment by offering literacy to the
offenders
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 once they leave
prison
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.
This
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 is because they usually commit crimes
due to
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 a lack of
earing
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earning
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sources
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resources
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 so with the help of
education
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, prisoners improve their skills and knowledge which are essential parts
to get
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of getting
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 a job. Once
offenders
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 start to earn by using
education
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, they stay busy with it and may be less likely to be involved in violated activities. Another reason is that through
education
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offenders
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 understand the value of hard work. Some jails arrange training programs for lawbreakers
while
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 in
prison
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such
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 as plumbing, electrical work, and carpentry and
this
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 vocational
education
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 assists
offenders
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 to create interest towards these in-demand sectors where employers approach them and offer huge amounts for their hardworking skills.
Furthermore
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, the learning environment in the jailhouse fosters a sense of decision-making and responsibility.
This
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 means formal
education
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 introduces them to their rights and responsibilities,
for instance
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, respect and obeying federal and local laws which help them to become responsible citizens in the country.
Additionally
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,
education
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 positively affects the mental health of inmates by boosting their self-esteem and self-worth.
As a result
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, criminals who participate in educational activities often experience boosts in their self-confidence and self-belief.
Hence
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, new abilities which they acquire throughout their
prison
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 period assist them to reduce the sense of hopelessness and worthlessness. In conclusion, I think that formal
education
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 in
prison
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 is a powerful tool for reducing crime which helps their career development makes them knowledgeable and fosters abilities and duties towards society.

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, which will make your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each point flows smoothly to the next with clear transitions. This will improve the coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, setting a strong foundation for the essay.
task achievement
You have effectively supported your main points with relevant points on how education addresses the root causes of criminal behavior.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position, rounding out the essay well.
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