IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many children are encouraged to do part time work by parents? What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#children #part #time #work #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many parents believe that encouraging their own children to do a part-time job
besides
Linking Words
 their school will help them to grow as credible members of society, but it has certain drawbacks too.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of a child's job and provide a logical conclusion. I believe that young
people
Use synonyms
's
work
Use synonyms
 has more advantages than drawbacks. At the outset, child
work
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has some major disadvantages for several reasons. The strongest argument is their mental stability. Each human being has several stages in his life and each stage of them plays a vital role in building his own character in the future.
Consequently
Linking Words
, to be a mentally stable person you have to process through each of them and get experience by yourself to develop and create your own personality. One and the most important step of them is childhood which should be lived as it is. Playing and having fun is a kind of freedom that should be granted to offspring.
For instance
Linking Words
, most criminals grew up in an unhealthy environment was not include normal offspring activities like a fraction with their peers through playing, which
finally
Linking Words
 leads to unlikely results to
people
Use synonyms
 surrounding them and being socially disordered.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be avoided by creating a
work
Use synonyms
-life balance for them and watching closely when we can stop or continue doing
this
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are too many advantages of children's
work
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 ,essay we will list the most important benefit of them.
Firstly
Linking Words
 the world needs more leaders and courageous
people
Use synonyms
 to manage future success and help our communities.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can be happened by generating a strong and capable generation who can use current resources to build a better life for all of us.
Thus
Linking Words
, if young men
work
Use synonyms
 from their early growing stages,
this
Linking Words
 will support in building a sense of responsibility and reliability which is adequately needed to guarantee
this
Linking Words
 forthcoming success.
For example
Linking Words
, most of the successful
people
Use synonyms
's stories included having jobs in childhood like Tesla who invented electricity. To conclude,
Although
Linking Words
 children's
work
Use synonyms
 has certain disadvantages like mental instability, it has an extremely positive impact on society and provides a prosperous future for all of us.
Submitted by rehameldweik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: