IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Parents nowadays delay childbirth. Does it advantages overweight the disadvantages give your opinion.

#parents #delay #childbirth
Owing to the burgeoning awareness women give
importance
 to their careers. It is believed by some people that in the present situation
parents
 are delaying childbirth.
This
 essay is going to discuss
both
 the merits as well as demerits of
children
 late in
life
 in the subsequent fragments. Irrefutably, there are a plethora of pros of
delay
Replace the word
delayed
show examples
children
 but the vital two are better career
life
 and
both
 gender equally work. To
commenc
Correct your spelling
commence
comment
 with the former, most
youngsters
 are giving
importance
 to their career opportunities like better jobs, economically strong and many more.
This
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 people like to work far away from their family because they can achieve their dreams and steadily climb in
ladder
Add an article
a ladder
show examples
 of career;
consequently
,
youngsters
 marry late
importance
 in
life
 and delay child.
For example
, if celebrities had not given
importance
 to their professional
life
,
then
 they would not have
famous
Add a missing verb
been famous
show examples
 in their
life
. Another reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 presently
both
 males and females get work and support their families. Not only do men focus on their job promotion but
also
 Females have a lot of job choices. Thereby, society is becoming
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 financially and open-minded
However
, despite the various positive aspects of child delay it still has some
downside
Fix the agreement mistake
downsides
show examples
also
 like
health
 issues as well as lack of parenting.
Firstly
, many
parents
 get a chance of
baby
Correct article usage
a baby
show examples
 ,especially after 30 age but it creates some serious issues for
health
such
 as a miscarriage, high blood pressure and so on.
This
 is the reason,
youngsters
 cannot expand their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 easily and they need a lot of medical care.
For instance
, presently many moms
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 birth to
children
 before nine months which is not good for
children
's
health
.
Therefore
, many
children
 can lack better development.
Secondly
,
both
parents
 are working and they don't give full time to their
children
 and parenting.
Moreover
, parenting care is essential nowadays because during growth
children
Correct your spelling
need
toneed
Correct your spelling
to need
need
 support from their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
.
As a result
, lack of parenting directly
Replace the word
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
children
's
health
 and mental issues. To recapitulate, many
youngsters
 have
children
 after 30age but if
parents
 will take some steps to overcome the shortcoming of
delayed
Correct article usage
a delayed
show examples
 child its advantages overweigh its disadvantages.
Submitted by surjeet_17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: