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There are many types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

#music #world #country
Nowadays, various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of
music
 in their individual ways can be seen extensively. Existing of
music
 is a fundamental need for human beings
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
 comprehensive reasons, and I would admit that traditional
music
 is more important than international
music
.
Music
 is a vital part of
human
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humans
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 which accompanies from many hoary centuries to the present. Almost every country taught
music
 as a subject at school and home from childhood, or commonly as a sort of delightful learning method. Children enjoy effortlessly in rhythm and
glad
Add a missing verb
are glad
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 to associate with members by joining groups during
music
Correct article usage
the music
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 schedule. Later,
desire
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the desire
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of
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for
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 people's musical creativity improve widely and became
favourite
Correct article usage
a favourite
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 of each person who had got the same mood with the lyrics of the
music
. Involving melody in
music
 could attract well people's emotions and even controlled conditions
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on the scale of
music
.The essence is that life would not be easygoing without it. From my perspective, traditional
music
 should be valued
exceedingly
Correct quantifier usage
more exceedingly
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 than international
music
 which has
became
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become
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 famous. Modern pop
music
Add a missing verb
is influent
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influent
Replace the word
influential
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 mostly
among
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by
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 teenagers by
it's
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its
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 catchy type.
Moreover
, big companies
also
 use
Correct pronoun usage
it for
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for
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in
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 their commercial product in marketing.
By comparison
 , traditional
music
 indicates the culture, history and customs of a country or
a
Change the article
an
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 ethnic group. Traditional styles, like Rom
kbach
Correct your spelling
bach
Kobach
 from Cambodia, displays the historical Khmer dance and their culture absolutely. If international pop
music
overwhelm
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overwhelms
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 and traditional
music
disappear
Correct subject-verb agreement
disappears
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, that will be
a
Remove the article
apply
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great intimidation for
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
 heritage. To summarize,
music
 is an essential part of our lives and I admit that traditional
music
 should be supported mainly than international
music
. In short,
music
 can indeed help our mental disorders healthier and traditional
music
 is much more important than international
music
 which aims just to entertain the audience without any meaning.
Submitted by tr.zarwaihnin on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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