ESSAY : 2 – CHILDREN ARE FACING MORE PRESSURE NOWADAYS ACADEMIC, SOCIAL AND COMMERCIAL PERSPECTIVES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THESE PRESSURES AND WHAT MEASURES SHOULD BE TAKEN TO REDUCE THESE PRESSURE?

#children #pressure #perspectives #pressures #measures

Kids are facing many

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

those days like education,

social

Correct word choice

and social

show examples

and commercial perspectives.I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

their

Replace the word

there

show examples

are many

problem

Change to a plural noun

problems

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

facing youngsters

Firstly

, in

Add a hyphen

present-day

show examples

present

Correct article usage

the present

show examples

day

competition

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

increasing

day

in academic sectors.

in other words

, getting a job

are

Change the verb form

show examples

more changing those

day

people do hard work and

scoring

Wrong verb form

score

show examples

99% and after that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

and get

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

package salary in

high level

Add a hyphen

high-level

show examples

companies, so it is

Change the article

the

show examples

biggest reason student get more mental pressure and stress to get a good job and score high.

for example

, in the 'IT' sector student study hard to

got

Change the form of the verb

get

show examples

selected in the company interview internship and for going abroad.

hence

, the children anxiety and stress rate are increasing more and more. To solve

this

problem

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and education

department

Fix the agreement mistake

departments

show examples

should

be do

Change the verb form

show examples

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

incriminate

Replace the word

incriminating

show examples

Change preposition

For

show examples

instance,

Correct your spelling

lawmakers

show examples

law makers

Correct your spelling

lawmakers

show examples

make some good

rule

Fix the agreement mistake

rules

show examples

and

institution

Fix the agreement mistake

institutions

show examples

also

more focus on skills

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

than

score

Fix the agreement mistake

scores

show examples

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

also

try to learn new

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

not only getting mental pressure and

aim

Wrong verb form

aiming

show examples

to score good, so companies get better

skill

Replace the word

skilled

show examples

workers .

For

Change preposition

show examples

explain it, Google ,

Facebook

Correct word choice

and Facebook

show examples

are big companies but

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

the

Correct your spelling

they

show examples

try to focus on

the

Change the word

their

show examples

skill more than scores and it

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

help

Replace the word

helpful

show examples

than to get better employment.

thus

children develop their

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

and

finding

Change the form of the verb

find

show examples

their

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

. In conclusion, education and the individual building stress on the kids but authorities and academic sector like school universities should bhi try to solve the

problem

help

Change the form of the verb

helping

show examples

to kids.

Submitted by sangeetapoonia11 on Thu Sep 29 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

239 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
in many countries people are now living longer than ever before. some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. to what extent do the advantages of having an ageing populaiton outweigh the disadvantages? give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience
Many countries have more people with longevity now. In theory, they say that it would become a problem for the government because of the decreasing productivity of elders. Some say that it can be beneficial to society as ageing population tend to bring wisdom and cultural value with them.
6
band
Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by a selection of individuals that a number of advertisements should be restricted due to they bring drawbacks to minors. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with this notion and my supporting reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
7
band
Compared to the past, more people are now trying to learn a foreign languages to increase their chances of landing a better job in their native country or having better opportunities to work abroad. To what extent do you agree with this point of view? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
Nowadays, many people are more likely to study a second language to go up their percentage of finding a well-paid job. The writer of this essay completely agrees with this notion because if people had more than one language, the job they had might be better.
6.5
band
MANY CITIES CONTAIN OLD PUBLIC BUILDINGS,SUCH AS TOWN HALLS ANFF ART GALLERIES,WHICH ARE EXPENSIVE TO REPAIR.SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT GOVERNMENTS SHOULD REPLACE THESE BUILDINGS WITH NEWS ONES.OTHER PEOPLE THINK THAT IT IS IMPORTANT TO KEEP THE OLD BUIldings discuss both these views and give your own opinion
The debate over whether to repair old public property or replace them with new ones involves both practical and cultural considerations. Some argue for a replacement to save costs and modernize infrastructure, while others believe in preserving these property due to their historical and cultural significance.
7.5
band
The ınternet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both this views and give your opinion.
With the development of the internet, people can easily keep in touch via Facebook, Instagram, and other platforms. Some think that it is a positive progress of the internet, but others believe it is not. From my perspective, I contend that this is positive while this way brings us so many advantages, despite some negative aspects. In this essay, I will discuss it.

ESSAY : 2 – CHILDREN ARE FACING MORE PRESSURE NOWADAYS ACADEMIC, SOCIAL AND COMMERCIAL PERSPECTIVES. WHAT ARE THE CAUSES OF THESE PRESSURES AND WHAT MEASURES SHOULD BE TAKEN TO REDUCE THESE PRESSURE?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Nowadays a large amount of advertising aimed at children should be banned because of the negative effects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The ınternet has changed the way we communicate. Much communication today happens through social media. Some people support this and think it is a positive development. Others believe that social media have negative effects. Discuss both this views and give your opinion.